Thinking Of You
by ElizabethJaneMalfoy
Summary: Hermione knew that she should've just walked away in the first place. Their love is forced to come to an end. A betrothal to someone else means that this is Goodbye. "Draco Malfoy is no longer a part of my existence... just my history"
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: Hello lovely's. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in forever but life has been oh so hectic. I've had a few ideas rooting around recently and have only just found the time to start jotting them down. I have plans for this story that hopefully you guys will like, I'm still pretty new here so be gentle with me :P There's this story that is oh so lightly based around Katy Perry's song 'Thinking of You' and then I will probably be uploading some oneshots soon'ish too. I want to concentrate on this one though because I want to make it perfecto! ;) **_

**_Please please please review, let me know if you're liking it etc... The thing about me and my writing is that I like it when the Guy ends up with the Girl so all of my stories will probably end up with happy endings including this one. We want some juicy drama in between though!_**

**_Okay, enough rambling! Here is the first chapter. Short but sweet to get me started. The second should be uploaded by tomorrow evening. It's 5am here now so I shall sleep!_**

**_Enjoy._**

**_Lizzie xoxo_**

**_p.s. My other AN's will be waaaaaay shorter than this. NO FEAR. _**

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* * *

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****

_For you there'll be no crying  
For you the sun will be shining  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
It's alright, I know it's right_

And the songbirds keep singing  
Like they know the score  
And I love you, I love you, I love you  
Like never before

"I guess… this is it then." She murmured, the tips of her dainty fingers tracing circles along his muscled shoulder blades. Her afterglow faded quicker than usual as the painful realisation set in...

'_This is the last time that I'm going to see him.' _She thought._ 'To have him smile at me, to run my fingers through his sleek locks, to taste him… to love him. This is the end. After today, Draco Malfoy is no longer a part of my existence… just my history.'_

"Hermione…" his voice, rich and smooth as velvet brought her out of her reverie. She looked down at him, lying on his front between her legs, chin propped up on her stomach. His eyes... _oh his eyes. _They bore right through her, his look of concern and sadness piercing like a dagger.

"I'm so sorry. I _have _to do this… the contract..."

"I know…" she sighed.

'_I know.'_

She gave a sudden bark of laughter, "Daddy would be turning in his grave if his son were to go against his wishes and marry a mudblood wouldn't he?"

"Hermione please…" he sighed, "don't, just… _don't_. This is the only night we have left together. I don't want to spend it arguing with you."

Her eyes went back up to the top of the intricate green and silver canopy that draped over Draco's bed, tears slowly seeping down her flushed cheeks. They'd already spent days arguing about Draco's future. He was betrothed to Astoria Greengrass, to be married a week after school finished - courtesy of Daddy Malfoy and Daddy Greengrass who had signed a contract for them to marry. All because of fucking _blood_.

Hermione knew that Draco was long over the blood status issue but there was no way out of it. He would marry a woman he didn't love because of a pair of stuck up pureblood twats who were only interested in money and blood purity. And that was that. Bingo, voila, there you bloody have it.

"I'm sorry, I just… I-"

"I love you, Hermione." he whispered.

Her eyes were streaming now, small heartfelt sobs pouring from her lips.

"You are the one and only person that I have ever grown to love and I will never _ever _forget you. Ever."

Hermione knew that she should've just walked away in the first place. But she just couldn't. She was obsessed, in too deep – the pair of them were and there was nothing that could have stopped them from falling completely and madly in love with each other…

* * *

The beginning of their final year at Hogwarts certainly wasn't boring.

Draco Malfoy was the same cocky git as he always had been and she was plain old bookworm Hermione. The two of them had been chosen to be Head Boy and Head Girl and were less than impressed to find out that they were going to be living together. Draco strongly objected to sharing a common room with a 'filthy mudblood' and Hermione would've hexed him on the spot if the Headmistress hadn't been standing a couple of metres away. However, McGonagall managed to persuade them, assuring them both that they didn't have to speak nor share all of the duties with one another.

The first few months ran like clockwork. When not in classes (and Hermione not studying), they spent most of the time trying to piss each other off as much as possible. Draco hogged the shower so Hermione played her muggle music on maximum volume. Draco shagged another brainless floozy into his mattress – purposely 'forgetting' to Silencio his room so Hermione put a 'deflating' charm on him the next day and also 'accidentally' spilt ink on his robes. Back and forth, back and forth every single day, they were always trying to go further than one another. There wasn't a day gone by that didn't end in a massive argument (which mostly resulted in Hermione storming up to her bedroom, leaving a rather smug looking Draco sprawled over the sofa. Either that or Draco would throw in the 'mudblood' card and stalk off to his cronies, head held high and chest puffed out, like the sly Slytherin he is).

But the thing was; they just couldn't leave each other alone. No matter how hard Hermione wanted to ignore the Slytherin bastard, she would always do something else just to wind him up more and no matter how much he wanted to walk away, Draco would always say something even more venomous to try and hit a nerve and gain a reaction.

Hermione gradually found herself having to keep herself from staring at him too long across common room and Draco would scold himself for checking out her arse as she went up the stairs to her bedroom.

You could cut the sexual tension with a knife.

_A brush of hands when both reaching for the Daily Prophet._

_Smouldering looks across the Great Hall during meals._

_Late night conversations in front of the fire when they couldn't sleep._

_Bodies colliding during the morning dash._

_A chaste collision of lips._

_Her fingers frantically undoing his shirt buttons._

_His eyes intense as he tugged at her underwear._

_Mouth on mouth, skin on skin._

_The soft, lust filled cries as dark joins with light…_

There was no going back.

* * *

"I love you too. Merlin, so much."

Draco clambered up the bed and lay behind her, snaking his arm around Hermione's waist and pulling her as close as possible. He wouldn't let her go this evening. Not until he needed to leave.

Hermione felt her eyes droop after a good forty minutes of solid crying, Draco combed his fingers through her masses of curls and kissed her forehead.

"Go to sleep, I'm right here and not letting you go. Just sleep. I love you."

She snuggled into him and sighed as her eyes fluttered closed.

"My Draco…"

_I love you._

_Not letting you go._

_I love you. _

_Not letting you go. _

_I love you I love you I love you…_

_Not letting you go._

* * *

_**What did you think?**_

**_I added the lyrics to 'Songbird' by Eva Cassidy at the beginning because I think the lyrics are relevant to the chapter and it was the song that I listened to whilst writing this chapter. It helps if you listen to it whilst reading as well :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**__**

Hello everyone! I'm really sorry about the Alerts. It kept pissing me about and publishing when I didn't want it to! Haha.. anyway, drama over. Here is the next chapter as promised. I know that it's a little shorter than the other one but It has enough in it to satisfy me :) I'm afraid that it's bye bye Draco for the moment! :(

I should have another chapter up tomorrow! The plot bunnies are rolling in fast and I have the whole story pretty much sorted now. It's just WRITING it that's going to be the problem haha.. But I promise that I will update as much as I can. I listened to 'Hana Pestle - Need' to write this chapter (the lyrics at the beginning of this chapter are taken from the song) and I really advise you to listen to it as you read it. Very moving...

Okay, less chit chat. Go on, read the bloody thing. ;)

Loves xoxo

* * *

**_I'm not quite sure how to breathe _**

**_without you here,  
I'm not quite sure if I'm ready_**

**_to say goodbye to all we were._**

****

_Be with me,  
Stay with me,  
Just for now.  
Let the time decide  
When I won't need you._

_She's running through the Forbidden Forest, throwing her body through hedges and scuffling desperately over the withered leaves that lay scattered in its path. She can feel them behind her, getting closer and closer. She has to keep running…_

_Just keep running._

_They're gaining on you._

_She falls face first with a grunt, into the soiled floor of the forest. _

_This is it._

_They engulf her, the black cloaked figures ready to suck every inch of happiness there is in her body. She's cold, oh so cold. The chill slashes through to the bone and she is paralysed. _

_She can hear them laughing. Amongst them; a deep, throaty chuckle – one that she knows all to well._

_Him. He's laughing at her._

_He doesn't care._

_On one side of him stands his father, a look of disgust in his eyes as he laughs along with his son. The other side is occupied by her. Astoria. Crazed filled cackles erupting from her; arms secure around Draco's waist in a feral manner._

_Hermione can't breathe…_

_She can't breathe._

_This is-_

* * *

Hermione's face was streaming in perspiration as she bolted upright on the bed, golden locks stuck to her forehead. Heavy pants escaped as her butterscotch eyes darted around the room, the morning light seeping in through the drapes.

_He's gone._

She jumped out of the bed to check in the bathroom only to find it unoccupied, the Common Room as well. Desperate breaths returned as the struggle to find him becoming more unbearable by the second. Hermione forced herself back up the marble steps and into his bedroom once more. She grabbed his pillow and held it to her chest as the tears ran freely down her face and neck like droplets of rain cascading down a window.

'_Just stop, Hermione. You promised him that you wouldn't do this to yourself. You're better than this… Just stop.'_

She glanced over to his bedside table and spotted a piece of folded parchment, her name written across the front in Draco's elegant script. Next to the note was a necklace, a long silver chain that held an exquisite heart shaped emerald.

Her breath hitched and eyes pooled once more as she reached for the parchment, unsure of whether she wanted to open it or not. It might be too much…

She read it.

The parchment held only one word.

_Forever._

* * *

It was a couple of hours before Hermione left the common room. She decided not to go to breakfast, it would mean seeing Draco again and she knew that if she were to see him now, nothing would be able to stop her from literally begging him not go through with the contract. She couldn't do that. Gods, no. Could you imagine? Hermione Granger at the feet of the Slytherin King – her arch nemesis, pleading him to elope with her? Harry and Ronald would have a heart attack! As would the rest of the population at Hogwarts.

So here she was, lacing the elegantly crafted 'parting gift' he'd left for her.

She snorted.

_Parting gift._

"You want to walk out of my life and then make sure that I remember you every single _fucking _day!" she spat at the stone, clenching her hand around it so hard that a vein was straining against her delicate skin.

"Well I have news for you, you brainless prat!"

She flung the chain across the common room and screamed.

"I DON'T FUCKING _WANT_ IT!"

'_You don't _need_ to give me a piece of stupid jewellery to remind me of you. You've infected me you bastard… I can't escape it! _Nothing_ is going to stop me from thinking about you every second of every fucking day…'_

About an hour had passed when Hermione decided it was time to leave and find Harry and Ron before the train left. She knew that they wouldn't be worried as she usually spent the morning of the last day packing and then triple checking her trunk – which she hadn't done this morning. She'd just chucked her possessions in, hoping that she'd remembered everything as her mind was too busy thinking of a certain snowy haired Slytherin.

She looked around the rooms once more, staying in Draco's twice as long, trying to soak up as much of the scent and ambience as she could. The memories they had shared in this room were just… she would miss them. Making love by the fire, stargazing on his miniature balcony, sitting on his lap in his regal olive armchair as they shared their most personal secrets and memories. Hermione had told Draco Malfoy things that she hadn't even dared mention to Harry and Ron. He in return had disclosed his recollections of being forced into becoming a Death Eater and even shared the details on his father's death.

In the confines of their own little sanctuary; they were inseparable.

She was about to go through the portrait door when she spied the necklace, strewn over a snake ornament that occupied one of the corners of the common room.

'_How fucking ironic…' _she thought.

She trudged over to the ornament and grabbed the necklace, pausing a second before she reached round and clasped it about her neck.

It hung just below her breasts. '_He must've done that so nobody else can see it…' _she thought, studying it once more before placing it beneath her jumper.

Crossing the threshold of the common room and into the corridor, Hermione smiled sadly and looked back as the portrait closed for the final time, leaving behind some of the happiest moments in her life…

* * *

"Never thought that _you _of all people would be late, 'mione!" Harry teased as she approached the burgundy structure of the Hogwarts Express. She rolled her eyes and forced a smile, nudging his shoulder with hers and flinging her luggage at her bespectacled friend.

"It's our last day ever, Harry. What do you expect?"

"Saying goodbye to each and every single book in the library were you?" He snorted, taking her luggage and placing it one of the racks. She shuffled uncomfortably, avoiding eye-contact.

"Something like that…" she muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing, Harry. Come on, let's get on otherwise we won't get a good comp-"

"Hey, I think I left my drewbles in the common room!"

Harry and Hermione both looked up to see the freckled face of Ron Weasley leaning out of the door. Harry chuckled and made his way onto the train whilst Hermione sighed but managed to suppress a small smile.

"Honestly Ron it's only a mere hour since lunch and all you can think about it you sto-"

_Oh fuck._

"'Mione?"

She willed her eyes to move. Anywhere but there. On _him. _

Draco stood a few carriages down, suitcase in hand, Astoria Greengrass on his arm.

He helped her onto the train, passing her bag to her afterwards like an obedient little fiancé.

Just about to board the train, his eyes locked with Hermione's.

Her breath caught.

He looked… sad.

Apologetic.

She thought she could see moisture building in his slate coloured orbs. But before she could confirm, he turned back to the carriage and climbed in.

"Mione? Come on, the train is about to leave"

Her head snapped up to face Ron, face completely and utterly blank.

She nodded and clambered aboard the train, legs shaking so violently that she could only just manage to march herself into a carriage.

Hermione was silent for the whole journey, merely nodding and grunting responses to Harry and Ron who were mostly too busy playing Wizard's Chess and discussing Quidditch to notice her sombre mood, assuming that it was the fact that they were leaving.

It felt like her heart had been ripped from her chest and repeatedly stamped on. She had nothing to be excited about anymore, nothing to smile about, nothing… just nothing.

That's when she realised: He _is _her life…

and she's lost him…

to a fucking contract.

'_What a pathetic excuse for a woman you've turned into, Hermione Granger...'_

_

* * *

_

**:'(**

_My hand searches for your hand_  
_In a dark room,_  
_I can't find you._  
_Help me._  
_Are you looking for me?_

_Can I feel anymore?_  
_Lie to me, I'm fading_  
_I can't drop you_  
_Tell me, I don't need you._


	3. Chapter 3

**_Here it is! The next chapter... I must say that I'm very proud of this one. It took me nearly the WHOLE DAY! That's how much I love you. ;)_**

**_I would just like to say that this story is going to get a bit dark... very sad. Just to pre-warn you. Get the kleenex ready for later chapters._**

**_As you can probably tell - It's a LOT longer than my previous 2 chapters, that's cus it's full of a juicy flashback! Yes, the majority of it is flashback, just the beginning is in the 'present'. Oh, and it's a bit lemony too ;) It's also the first time I've posted anything lemony, so be gentle, please. :)_**

**_Mixture of Draco/Hermione's POV. As usual._**

**_Please read this along to Jordin Sparks - Battlefield. It was the inspiration to this chapter and goes so well! It will be so much better if you listen to it whilst reading the chapter, start it when you get to the flashback.. :D _**

**_Okay, It's late and I am a very VERY tired Lizzie. Do enjoy :)_**

**_xoxo_**

**_JK owns everything... unfortunately._**

* * *

Exactly 8 days later, a seething Hermione stood in her parents' kitchen staring grimly at the conceited grins of the brand new 'hot off' the altar' Mr and Mrs Draco Malfoy, plaguing the front page of the 'Daily Prophet'...

**'FORMER DEATH EATER DRACO MALFOY MARRIES CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART ASTORIA GREENGRASS'**

_'Malfoy Junior' made an honest woman of his first love; Miss Astoria Greengrass (daughter of Nathaniel and Ophelia Greengrass) in a lavish ceremony in the Ministry of Magic at noon yesterday. It was said to be the 'occasion of the decade'. Countless pureblood families were in attendance including the Zabini's and Nott's, and even the Minister himself was present for the ceremony. _

_It was clear that the pair are besotted with one another. Mr Malfoy choked up several times during the vows as his wife-to-be wept into a lace hanky…_

Hermione couldn't even finish the article. She felt too sick.

_Childhood Sweetheart._

_First love._

She glanced back up to the photograph where the 'happy couple' were now sharing a kiss. Astoria snaked her hand up to Draco's hair – pulling him in deeper. He responded by tugging her waist towards him and intensifying the lip-lock.

She really was going to be sick.

Managing to get to the toilet just in time, Hermione emptied the entire contents of her stomach and fell against the bath, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

_'Why the hell am I being like this? You knew that this was going to happen…'_

You _knew._

* * *

About several months into the year and the teasing soon turned into flirting, bitter glares into lustful stares.  
They grew closer by the second. She could feel his eyes on her all of the time, dragging over her frame.

To say that Hermione Granger had developed nicely was an understatement.

Draco thought her a _goddess_.

Perfect hour-glass figure, a lovely peachy arse and a good amount of cleavage; enough to hold on to...

"My eyes are up here, you git"

"Huh?"

"Stop. staring. at. my. boobs." Hermione said, thwacking him around the head with the morning's Prophet on every word. Draco took the paper out of her hands and threw it to the side, reclining back into the sofa and smirking. The infamous smirk that he knew would make her melt...

"There's no need for violence, Granger. I was merely _admiring_ what was on display." he drawled, milking every syllable.

_One._

_Two._

_Three..._

There it was... the rosy blush, creeping its way up her neck and over her cheeks.

_'I love being a Slytherin...'_

"What is it, Granger? Hippogriff got your tongue?"

The look on her face was a mix of embarrassment and anger. She was flustered, her hair knotted on top of her head. A few locks had escaped and were resting against her flushed cheeks, framing her small heart-shaped face.

She looked completely and utterly _stunning_.

Draco felt his trousers tighten and crossed his legs to make sure that Hermione didn't notice his... 'arising problem'.

"You're bloody unvelievable, do you know that!" she squeaked, shoving herself back into the armchair she perched on.

"I've been told many times..."

"Oh, _Fuck off_."

_Shit_. He _loved_ it when she swore. Such a dirty word coming out of such pure and innocent lips. Lips he would very much like to taste, lips he would love to see wrapped tightly around his-

"Malfoy!"

"What!" he exclaimed. She'd disturbed his day-dreaming twice now and he was beginning to get a little pissed...

"You never _listen_ to me! I'm sat here trying to discuss next terms patrolling rota and all you're doing is sitting there like a bloody pillock! Or looking at my cleavage... A little effort would be appreciated!"

"Well what can I say? You have a lovely pair... someone's got to appreciate them and seeing as nobody else will; I've decided to take one for the team and have the responsibility myse- OW FUCK!"

The many pages of 'Hogwarts: A History' came flying across the room and would've knocked him out had he not batted it away with his hands before it made contact with his head.

"Stupid pureblood arse! I'll do it by myself..." she spat, bounding up the marble steps and into her bedroom.

"Alright, alright... don't get your knickers in a twist" he mumbled, settling back into the sofa.

_'I wonder what her knickers are like?'_ He imagined them to be white cotton panties, the sort he thought an innocent little Gryffindor like her would wear.  
Or was she secretly a vixen underneath all those layers? French knickers stretched across that lovely behind, covering her sex...

_'Oh bugger...'_

He needed a cold shower.

_Now._

It was about an hour before Hermione made another appearance that evening. Why did Malfoy have to bloody tease her like that? It was infuriating to say the least.  
He knew exactly how to wind her up, all of the right things to say and why oh why did he have to be so darn attractive?

That didn't help _at all_.

She denied the fact that she was attracted to him at first, of course she would. But the thing was - he seemed to be checking her out enough recently, so why couldn't _she_ 'admire what was on display'? Everytime that he teased her, she would blank out and feel a slow heat spread across her cheeks and... in other places.

He was exactly where she'd left him, sprawled across the huge maroon coloured couch, the only difference was that he now clasped a letter in his hands, branded with the Malfoy family crest.

He looked a bit vacant...

Hermione traipsed down the steps and went to the large copper kettle that was kept on a mahogany table in the corner of the room. You could call it a minaiture beverage service of sorts... one tap of your wand and the desired drink would flow from the funnel and into a mug. Hot Chocolate was Hermione's favourite. She made both Draco and herself a drink, knowing that he would accept.

It was their evening routine, you see... The only time of day that the teasing and probing would disappear and they would actually have a 'proper' conversation, spending about an hour before bed just talking. Could you believe that? .._talking_. Hermione couldn't remember how it had started, but as soon as it did, the routine fell into place and it had been this way ever since.

She wouldn't have it any other way...

Draco merely nodded as she placed the hot cocoa in his palm.

_'This isn't right...' _she thought, _'He hasn't smiled at me like he usually does.'_

It was silent for a few minutes, the only sound coming from their mouth's as they slurped the cocoa.  
Hermione decided that it was far too awkward...

"Is eve-"

"Look, Grange-"

She blushed.

He sighed.

It was silent once more, so she tried again.

"Is everything okay? You seem a bit...down?"

He snorted.

"I mean, I know it's none of my buisness and everything but you know that if you want to talk about it you can al-"

"It's my father... his will was read today"

"Oh...but isn't that sort of a good thing? I mean, I know that you hated your father..."

Draco rolled his eyes as dramatically as he could.

"...but he's probably left you a large sum of money, plus the mansion. Am I correct?"

She didn't give him time to answer. Gods she loved to talk...

"I mean, you're a Malfoy...money means _everything_."

"So does _blood_." he snapped.

He saw Hermione falter and immediately realised his mistake.

"I didn't mean it like that, Granger. I'm so-"

"No no no! It's fine... don't lower yourself to apologize to a _mudblood_, Malfoy! After all, everything's about blood isn't it? Blood, blood and more fucking_ blood_!" she yelled, getting up from the sofa.

"I'll just go to bed... wouldn't want to be contaminating the air around you with my mudblood germs now wou-"

She felt a strong grip around her wrist, pulling her back. He was touching her... skin...on skin. It felt wonderful...

"I'm getting married."

"_What_?"

Her hand jerked back and out've his grasp.

"I said... I'm getting married."

There was a small twinge in Hermione's chest.

_Married?_

"M-married?" she stuttered, "Godric Malfoy, I wasn't aware that you could hold down a successful relationship let alone _propose_ to someone!"

"You really think it's my choice! Of course I don't want to marry... but my father wishes otherwise." he said grimly.

She began to pace the room and let out a bitter laugh...

"You mean to say that your precious father has set you up with someone? Oh how _pureblood_ of him... wouldn't want his son to fall in love with anybody he shouldn't be now would he? This is so ridiculous..."

"Merlin Granger I_ know_! Why the hell are _you_ so fucking concerned anyway? It's not affecting you in any way, shape or form is it? You're not the one who has to bind themselves to someone that they don't want to be with!"

She slowly turned to face him...

"We may not see eye to eye most of the time, Malfoy. But you and I both know that it's _wrong_. You should be entitled to happy life! After all that man has put you through... _fuck him_. I can't believe I'm saying this to you of all people but think of _yourself_ and your_ future_."

She spoke so passionately that it made him quiver. Such a powerful woman. Always stood up to what she believed in and never backed down. Like a towering battleship. This is exactly what he loved in a woman...

His heart sped up everytime that she entered the room... he felt a loss each time their evenings of discussion and stories came to a close...

There was nothing he wanted more than to storm over to where she was stood and claim her mouth with his...

to be honest, he was _smitten_.

Oh _crap_.

_'Great fucking timing, mate.'_

"I know..." he all but whispered. "But there's no way out"

"Don't be stupid, just don't marry the woman! Who is it anyway?"

"Astoria Greengrass."

_She should've bloody guessed..._

Draco studied her face, watching as her lip wavered when he said the name...

"And anyway, It's not like that Granger! I can't just decide that I don't want to marry her!"

"You're being ridiculous, of course you ca-"

"THERE'S A FUCKING CONTRACT!" he screamed, jumping off' the sofa and approaching a more than startled Hermione.

Her breathing picked up. He was so close to her... absolutely seething.

"So, _no_ Granger... I _don't_ have a choice!"

Hermione brought her harms about her waist, hugging them protectively to her body. She didn't want to irk him even more... but she wanted to help.

"A contract?"

"A contract." he confirmed, "My father made it with Astoria's father when I was ten years old. _Ten_ fucking years into life and my parents are already planning on who I can marry to create the next little pureblood's in line..."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself.

_What a mess._

Hermione approached him hesitantly, not quite sure what to do. She would do _anything _to make him feel better... It hurt to see him looking like this.

Agonized.

Defeated.

Before she knew what she was doing, Hermione's hand went up to his shoulder and squeezed.

He tensed.

Her hand didn't move a muscle.

"How long do you have?"

There was another little tug in his chest.

Was Hermione Granger trying to _comfort_ him?

Draco swallowed the lump that was forming in the back of his throat.

"'til the end of the year... we marry a week after."

She nodded, willing herself not to cry. She didn't know why she wanted to cry... the whole situation he'd been put in was awful - she knew that, but this was _Malfoy_. Not Harry or Ron... Draco 'pompous-slytherin-dick-who-had-been-her-arch-nemesis-since-first-year Malfoy.

Why did she feel so affected by it?

He was attractive... very attractive and yes, they'd been sort of 'getting to know each other' a bit in the past few weeks. She knew that she had _some_ sort of feelings towards him... as much as she didn't want to accept it. But maybe she hadn't realised how deep those feelings went?

"You really have to...?"

"Yes."

Hermione found her breath hitching as her hand was covered by one of his; the touch burning straight to her core..

He gradually inched closer to her, their eyes locked and the lustful gazes returned once more. Her heart was beating so hard that she thought that it would burst right through her chest!

"You have chocolate on your lip, you know..." he breathed, their bodies very nearly touching.

She swallowed hard. She could feel his breath tickling at her cheeks, the smell of peppermint and cocoa wafting up her nose.

"D-do I?"

She was beginning to feel dizzy now.

"Yes. Right there..."

He brought up the hand that wasn't holding hers and cupped her cheek, lightly dragging his thumb over her upper lip and wiping the stain away.

_'Oh Merlin. S_top_ Draco...this won't end well.'_

But he couldn't stop.  
He _wouldn't_ stop.

"Thank you" she squeaked.

Draco smiled a genuine, wide smile that took Hermione's breath away.

_Gods he is so beautiful. _

_Too beautiful._

His head came closer to hers, lips merely centimetres apart.

"This whole marriage thing is so fucked up. I really don't want to have to do it... It's not what I want." he whispered

_Closer._

"What _do_ you want?"

"I _want._.."

_Closer._

"Merlin, Granger... I want_ you_. So badly. But I can't have you..."

"Who says that I don't want you to have me?" she responded, voice dripping in lust.

"It's not just that..."

He sighed.

"If I give in, then that will be it. I won't be able to let you go and I'll have to force myself apart from you... It will be too painful"

"Please Draco... I want you too. Forget about the contract for one night, _please_. You're driving me insane... I _need_ you"

_Draco._

She'd said his name.

And that was it.

_He was done for._

He closed the final centimetre, his lips brushing lightly against hers. She gave a small moan as his hands slid around her waist, pulling her in as close as they would allow her. His dick hardened upon hearing her moan; a throaty mew of pleasure. Draco nipped and sucked at Hermione's lower lip as she brought her arms around his neck, their lips moving in perfect synchronicity. His tongue darted out and traced along her lips, seeking entrance to her beautiful mouth. He shuddered as he tasted her for the first time, their tongues beginning to mould together.

The kiss was slow and passionate, a kiss that made Hermione Granger's knickers soak in seconds. She felt herself being lowered onto the coach, lips not leaving his. He knelt beside her and ran his fingers through her wild curls before ending the kiss with a_ 'pop'_.

They needed to come up for air at_ some _point.

Hermione lay panting on the couch, rubbing her golden thighs together to try and relieve some of the growing tension that was building more and more. She'd never had any intimate experience with a man before... Godric, she hadn't even tried it _herself_.

Draco leant back down, placing his mouth at her ear and his fingers buried in her locks once more...

"Have you ever been_ touched_, Granger?"

_Oh Gods..._

She shook her head, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

"Would you like _me_ to touch you?"

She bit her lip, driving Draco wild.

"Yes"

It was barely audible but he'd heard it alright...

Draco's hand went to the waistband of her pyjama bottoms, he could tell that she was already aroused with just a small rub on her panties. Her soft, _cotton_ panties that were completely soaked through.

He thought he would come right there and then.

His fingers delved beneath the material, seeking her dripping core. Long, skilled fingers stroked at her folds, rubbing at the little nub at the apex of her thighs and Hermione's back arched off' the couch. He pinched and she nearly screamed, pleasure pulsing through her body.

"Oh _fuck_"

He entered one digit into her sex and pumped, gradually adding a second and then a third. It wasn't long before she was helplessly grinding herself against him, desperate for release. His thumb swiped once, twice, three times over her clit, giving Hermione Granger her first ever orgasm. The most beautiful and erotic thing he'd ever witnessed in his life.

"Oh Draco!"

"Merlin, say it again..."

"Draco! Oh gods, _Draco_!"

What was she doing to him?  
It was like she'd morphed into a Siren; calling his name and luring him towars her lair, ready to possess him.

That's what he was; _a man possessed_.

_Hypnotized._

He didn't care.

"I fucking love you Hermione..."

Her eyes snapped open, locking with his piercing blue orbs...

"_What_?"

"I...I think... I think I love you..." he whispered this time.

Hermione couldn't even think herself...

He'd informed her of an arranged marriage that he was expected to go through with - one that he couldn't undo, before giving her the most passionate kiss and then_ fingered _her on the couch, giving her her first orgasm ever; the most intense thing her body had ever experienced.

And now he was telling her that he loves her.

_Loves her_.

She waited for the feeling of regret and embarrassment, but it didn't come... at all.

She didn't regret a thing...

_'Oh fuck'_

_'Fuck, fuck, fuck'_

_'I think I love him too...'_

"I...I..."

She couldn't even string a sentence together! It was all so..._ overwhelming_. This morning, Draco Malfoy had merely been a fellow student that she just so happened to be sharing living quarters _AND_ secretly had feelings for. By the evening... she was falling further and further through the spiral called love. She did, she loved him. He was the most annoyingly beautiful person she had ever met. They argued and teased and bickered but they understood each other and knew each other like the backs of their palms... after all; how did they know how to piss each other off so well in the first place?

Hermione didn't believe it when her mother said 'Opposites Attract'. But now she was having second thoughts...

The two of them were like Dark and Light, Fire and Ice, _Yin and Yang..._

She didn't know what to do...

Stupid fucking contract!

She knew exactly what she _wanted_... but not what she should _do_ about it.

Take a risk?

Or play safe...

He was so tempting and gods, she _loved_ him for fucks' sake!

Her head was screaming at her, _'Don't bloody do it! You'll end up breaking both of your hearts and it will be all your fault! Be sensible, Hermione...'_ whilst her heart was yelling _'You love him. Don't go through your life wondering what could've happened! He loves you, you love him. Take the plunge... be a bit Slytherin. You _know_ that you want to..."_

She swallowed hard.

Her decision was made...

"Make love to me Draco..."

_You silly little girl..._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Aloha! I am very sorry for my delay in updating! I had such bad writer's block and was extremely busy... I hope you can forgive me?**_

**_I'm absolutely fuming right now... the edit station won't let me make the corrections, italics, breaks etc... It's being a complete bitch. :( So I am very sorry about grammar etc..._**

**_There is a lot in this chapter and it's fast paced (especially in the second half). You get to see more of Astoria in this chapter - I really loved writing her :D_**

**_Thank you all so much for your reviews, I appreciate every single one of them and love reading them. A lot of you are doing well with predictions but you will just have to wait and see how the story pans out :) would like to say a special Thank you to Rachel. She's been uber supportive and pestering me every single bloody day to write! LOL ;) But I love her for it, so thank you!_**

**_The musical inspiration was 'Breathe Me' by Sia. You should deffo listen to it - it's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever come across. Listen to it whilst reading as well... it fits in with the second half especially._**

**_I soooo hope that you like the chapter, I've spent a lot of time on it. Please review as well! Enjoy!_**

_**Lizzie. xoxo**_

**_P.s. Follow me on Twitter! LizzieMacfrenzy :)_**

* * *

"Come back to bed..."

_'Oh for Merlin's sake leave me alone!'_

"Draco?"

"What?" he snapped.

Astoria sat up in the satin clad canopy bed, hair ruffled with desire and passion in her beady eyes. "I said... come. back. to. bed. This is our_ honeymoon _for fucks sake! We're in the penthouse suite of a five star hotel in Venice having only married two days ago, you've only said about 5 words to me since saying 'I do' and shagged me only _twice_... I need more than this Draco. You're my _husband_ now..."

"Not by fucking _choice_..."

"Sorry?"

"Oh, nothing..."

"What are you doing reading a bloody paper at_ 3am _anyway? I know the article is fabulous - I do _love _that Rita Skeeter but honestly, leave it and get your arse over here!"

Draco's grip tightened around the pages of yesterday's Daily Prophet, creases beginning to dent the artificial grin that was plastered on his face as he played the overjoyed newlywed on the front page. He couldn't believe it when he actually read the fucking thing. The headline was enough to make him feel like a million daggers had been thrown at his back... then there was the coverage. All he could think about when his eyes scanned across the article was Hermione.

_'Merlin's left bollock, Hermione!'_

Surely she would know that it was all a huge farce though! All she had to do was look at who'd written it!  
She was smart and knew that he didn't love Astoria one bit. He'd lain with her just a couple of nights ago telling her about a million times how much he loved her...

Although... she'd probably started to move on anyway. If she hadn't - this would be the thing to provoke it.

Perhaps that was for the best?  
_A push in the right direction..._

_'She's the strongest witch I know.'_ he thought.

Of course she'd get over him. Of _course_ she would.

Things would be a lot different for Draco... from the day they'd shared their first secrets over a cup of hot cocoa, he'd done nothing else than think about her. And that was not about to change...

_'I really want to see her face one more time...'_

_'I wonder whether I will see her again?'_

_'Is she okay?'_

_'I wonder what she's doing...'_

It had been about 60 hours since Draco Malfoy had married Astoria Greengrass and yet here he was, standing at a huge window in a huge hotel room, just having shagged the brains out of his brand spanking new wife... _pining for Hermione Granger_.  
Well to be perfectly honest, he began pining the moment his feet touched the Hogwarts Express for the last time...

It was unbearable for him to walk away from Hermione. Worse than recieving the Cruciatus curse... In fact, he would rather be Crucio'd over and over than to have to walk out of her life and marry a tart that he didn't even know. He knew absolutely _fuck all _about Astoria apart from the fact that she was a couple of years below him, had shit for brains and spent most of her time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with her lips wrapped round most of the male population's cocks!

McGonagall didn't object once when Astoria's parents informed her that the youngest Greengrass would be withdrawn from education early to join the Malfoy family.

Draco knew every single little detail about Hermione...  
The way she ate everything separately on her plate at meal times, the way her luscious rosy tongue would jut out when she was deep in concentration and also that she had a tiny birthmark on her left hip-bone. Amongst many other things...

He studied her, listened to her, bathed in her, drank her up. He just couldn't get enough.

Draco glanced over his bare shoulder, to where Astoria lay upon the ginormous ivory bed...

He should at least _try._

_'Fucking hell, I'm a Malfoy! Malfoy's suck it up and get on with it so grow a pair and do it...'_

He decided that he would try to be civil to her in the slightest bit, but he certainly wouldn't fuck her again...

Draco was definitely someone who enjoyed sex. He'd always been aware of it, ever since he walked in on his parents going at it like rabbits on the Manor's magnificent mahogany dining table. (He made sure to sit the opposite end at meal times after that experience...). That was when he was about fourteen years of age, just when puberty was settling in on him. He began to find himself attracted and mesmerized by the enhanced chests of the opposite sex. He began to experiment, using his endless charm and irresistible looks to coax random Ravenclaw and Slytherin girls to his bed chamber.

By sixteen, he'd done it all. Both the male and female population were gossiping about what a God he was in bed.. Flocks of girls would pool at his feet, begging him to shag their brains out and guys were constantly asking him for advice... he _loved_ it. Lapped it all up without a care in the world.

That was until he was appointed the role of Head Boy and became 'involved' with Granger. After that first evening when she'd offered him a drink, he stopped bringing air head's back to their dorm and pounding them into the floor. Instead, he began noticing the dust of freckles over Granger's nose, her luscious and full lips that curved like an archers bow, the way her body dipped and filled in all of the right places. From that very day - he didn't look back and he didn't give a flying fuck.

Sex with Granger was_ mind blowing_.  
No. It wasn't sex at all.

It was _making love_.

That was one thing that Draco had never experienced... and it was the perfect way to describe what he was doing with Hermione compared to the other girls... compared to Astoria. He didn't have to prove anything to Hermione. They were tender, passionate and full of love. Every single touch, kiss and caress was true.  
Now he was stuck with a woman who would claw at him with a feral glare as she rode him mercilessly, expecting him to perform up to her fucking _standards_.

_'Merlin, help me...'_

He sighed gently and slid into the cool sheets once more, prying away Astoria's eager fingers that were clawing at his boxers.

"I'm tired...not now." he murmured.

"What the hell? Draco..."

"I said_ not now_. End of. Maybe in the morning."

Astoria huffed loudly and flung herself back onto the mattress, mumbling into the pillows... "I can't believe you're fucking refusing me when I practically hand it to you on a plate! I shouldn't have to do that anyway because I'm your _wife!_ Merlin... two times in two days. Here I was looking forward to the performance of Slytherin's infamous Sex God... what a fucking jo-"

"Give it a rest, Astoria... your legs could do with a bit of closure anyway."

"Fuck off Draco..."

"Now now my darling, there's no need to be so rude."

"I'll do whatever the hell I want, Draco. I may be married to you right now because of a silly piece of paper but that doesn't mean I'm not going to _enjoy_ it..." she spat, leaning over to glare at Draco, who had opened is eyes and was giving Astoria the filthiest look he could muster.

"So why don't you just suck it up and fucking enjoy it as well? I don't think you understand... Marriage is for life and we made this commitment for our families. To produce children that will continue the clean, _pure_ and ancient bloodlines of this society... the only _worthy_ people of this society. You should be proud and honoured to do this for your family, Draco."

He growled slightly as her long, manicured fingernail came out to trace his jaw...

"Don't you see? We're actually rather perfect for each other..."

Draco tried jerking away from her, biting his tongue so hard that he thought he might actually draw blood. Astoria had other ideas and grabbed his chin, yanking it so that he was facing her.

_'Don't let her fucking do this to you!'_

"Get your fucking hands off' me..." He grabbed her wrist and held it as tightly as possible.

"You will _never_ touch me like that again, do you hear me? I _do not _and _never will _love you, Astoria. Get used to it."

Astoria gave Draco a swift and powerful slap across his cheek, causing him to let go of her wrist and let out a sharp grunt.

"You'd better start trying, Draco. We don't want Daddy Greengrass finding out that his darling girl is being_ neglected _by her husband, do we?"

"_What the fuck_?"

"You heard me... If you don't give me what I want then you'll know that I'm not happy. I'll be sure of that." Astoria leaned into him and kissed his sore cheek, a small, cruel giggle vibrating against him. She leant back into the pillows and smiled.

"Goodnight, _darling_. Be ready to shag me in the morning... I want to be pregnant by Christmas. The Prophet will go _wild_..."

Another taunting laugh later and she was turning away from him, settling down to sleep.

Draco couldn't actually believe it... she was a fucking _monster_. What a twisted, conniving little bitch!  
She'd definitely used this contract to her advantage, ha! of course she would. All of the Greengrass family we're like it. Desperate to get their hands on more money and move their way up in the wizarding world. Draco's father had literally_ handed _it to them. Married off to a Malfoy; one of the wealthiest in the Wizarding community and there you have it! Mission completed. Astoria was just reaping the benefits, grabbing anything and everything she could out of it and here he was again; telling himself once more that there's nothing he could do to stop any of it.

Absolutely _fuck all._

Draco lay his head back, sinking into the feathered pillow and sighed...

"I miss you, Hermione."

* * *

"It feels so _weird _without him...like there's a gap, do you know what I mean?"

Hermione nodded in complete silence.

It was nearly two months since they'd left Hogwarts and Harry had already been offered the position of Head Auror at the Ministry of Magic. As soon as his foot touched down on platform 9 and 3/4, he was whisked off to the Minister's office to negotiate his future plans. Within eight days of leaving, Hermione had secured her job working for the department of 'Protection of Magical Creatures'. It was something she was passionate about and intended to continue - regardless of her emotional state.

_It would take her mind off' things at least..._

Ron had shocked the pair when he announced that he would be going to spend a few years in Romania with Charlie. He said it was to get space... a chance to bond with the brother he never really had the opportunity to get close to.  
As easy as it was for Harry to process, the news was just another blow to the gut for Hermione. After losing Draco; the only person she'd ever been in love with - she was about to lose another person that she loved dearly: Ron Weasley, one third of 'The Golden Trio'.

_Her best friend._

She felt like she was losing everyone she cared about. Harry was slipping away gradually as well... any time that he had free would be used up spending time with Ginny. They never had time to go out and spend time with each other like they would in Hogwarts... not even time for a single _drink_.  
Things were already changing, routines were being set and it had only been 7 weeks. The only time they could really be together and talk was in Hermione's office during

lunch breaks and even _that _wasn't long enough...

Harry was right... It _did_ feel weird without Ron. Harry was bound to be busy as Head Auror and he would want to spend every spare minute with Ginny because he loved her.

_'Just like you loved Draco...'_

_Love Draco..._

Hermione couldn't help but feel that if Ron hadn't gone to Romania, she would be able to start picking herself back up and get herself back to at least the slightest bit of normalcy. That's what it was like in Hogwarts, if one wasn't there to help then the other was. She always had someone to comfort and help her.

Now?

_Nobody._

She thought of Draco every minute of every day, apart from lunchtimes with Harry of course - where she kept every single conversation based on him.

_'Let him do the talking...'_

She couldn't even begin to face her own car-crash of a life and whenever Harry would ask her how things were going she would let the false smile take place and re-assure him that everything was completely hunky-dory. Then there was the fatal question:

"_How's the love life_?"

Hermione's heart would break over and over each time that dreaded question was asked, painful memories clouding her brain each and every time. Alas, a forced laugh and an_ 'I'm focusing on my work at the moment'_ later... the topic of conversation was moved along once more. There were days when she was bad, when she thought about him too much. She would remain quiet and reserved, avoiding interaction with other people as possible, including Harry - although she found his presence comforting. Hermione knew that he'd picked up on it but she was good at excuses...

Every evening she would stumble through the front door of her parents house (the house that they'd left to her when moving to Australia), completely and utterly exhausted after working herself to the bone at the Ministry. She ate hardly anything, picking at the evening meals that she made for herself (another distraction), opting for a couple of bottles of wine instead.

_'Ha! Two month's ago I was a bright, enthusiastic, loved up witch with the two rocks that I called my best friend and look at me now! Sharing my life with a couple of bottle __of wine...'_

How _classy._

She drained the lot, sat on the couch and clutching the elegant stone that rested beneath her breasts, knocking back glass after glass until it was all gone, before stumbling to her bedroom where she would strip of all her clothes and climb into the bed, still holding the necklace and falling into a deep, dreamless slumber.

Hermione certainly felt the effects of her bingeing. Every morning she would wake up to a pounding head, scrambling to the toilet just in time to puke her guts up. The headache's were so bad that she began taking painkillers, one after the other to stop the pain that was searing through her head. It became an addiction and after another couple of weeks, it wasn't just the headaches she was taking the pills for. it was any excusable thing Hermione could find... from banging her knee on the desk, to plain_ boredom_. Every day was exactly the same...

Wake up, pills, puke, pills, Work, pills, lunch with Harry, pills, work some more, pills, home, wine, pills, bed.

She _needed _these pills to stay alive... that's how it felt. If she didn't take them then the pain would become unbearable, he would take over her mind and infect her soul again and that would be it. She would be dead.

_Dead._

How peaceful does it sound?

To not have to worry about anything... about _him._

Instead of tring to get over him, she was replacing her addiction of Draco Malfoy with_ painkillers._

How _pathetic._

It was a Monday morning and Hermione was sat on the cool tiles of her bathroom, bony fingers clutching the toilet seat as she heaved into it, liquid spilling out from her lips and into the bowl. She hadn't been to work for a week, claiming a tummy bug when in fact she'd been having the worst stomach pains and hangover's ever - probably due to her lack of eating and immense alcohol and pill consumption. It was on this very day when her thoughts returned to him... about how happy he appeared to be on that front cover of the Prophet. She knew he was lying when he said that he was madly in love with the Greengrass bitch, but he seemed eager to try and move on.

Hermione had tried anything and everything to try and move on from Draco Malfoy. Still, she couldn't bring herself to find anyone else - to_ think _of anyone else. Work couldn't keep her from thinking of him, even _drugs_ couldn't keep her from thinking of him...

He _was_ her drug.

And she needed her fix so fucking _badly._

Wiping her mouth, Hermione staggered to her feet and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. This week had taken it out of her big time, she was looking at someone that didn't even resemble her one bit. Matted hair, a gaunt face with deep, purple circle under the eyes.

Where was _Hermione_?

She reached for her painkillers and popped the cap open, a sad sigh escaping her lips...

_It doesn't have to be like this...'_ a voice rang out, echoing round her ears.

'_You can make it all go away, Hermione. You don't have to live in a world where you're destroying yourself over him. Just let him go... let it all go.'_

Hands trembling, she tipped the entire contents of the bottle into her hand and stared, tears beginning to stream down her wasted face.  
One by one, she popped the pills into her mouth and swallowed.

Holding onto the emerald stone, she slid onto the floor and closed her eyes... willing it all to disappear...

* * *

_She was falling._

_A black hole engulfing her completely and pulling her deeper and deeper._

_This was it._

_No more pain._

_No more pretence._

_No more Draco Malfoy._

_She would be rid of it all._

_Finally._

"I love you Draco."

* * *

"Hermione? Can you hear me? Oh Gods please wake up... _please_."

All of her limbs felt tingly, like a thousand bolts of lightning had been surged through her body. It was... strange to say the least.

_Was this heaven?_

If it was, what was Harry doing there?

Hermione's eyelids fluttered, causing Harry to produce an enourmous sigh of relief.

"H-Harry?"

"Yes it's me, love. I'm here... oh gods I've been so worried about you Hermione... what on _earth _were you thinking!"

"Where...am I?"

Harry stroked a stray hair out of her eyes and gave a small, sad smile.

"You're in St. Mungo's 'mione and very lucky I found you."

"Lucky? S-St. Mungo's?"

"You overdosed. On painkillers. I came to your house to see if you were getting any better and if you needed anything but found you half dead on your bathroom floor!" he sighed. "Look, I'm not going to question you now but_ honestly _Hermione, there had better be an explanation for all of this..."

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

A couple of days went by and harry spent as much time as he could with Hermione, cancelling work to visit the hospital instead. Ginny popped in a few times, bringing food parcels and pestering Harry to go and get some sleep but he wouldn't budge at all. Hermione was on a drip, had scheduled medication and was watched as she ate every single bite of her meals. It reminded her of being about seven years old again, her parents' encouraging smiles as she faced her vegetables.

A couple of weeks of lying on the most uncomfortable mattress ever left Hermione terribly restless. Many tests were done when she was first rushed into St Mungo's to make sure that everything was okay with her body... they'd told her that everything was fine, but she needed to stay at the hospital to regain her strength and cleanse herself. The mediwitches placed a charm on Hermione, that cleared her body of all addiction including both alcohol and drugs. This would help her to start a fresh but she was warned that there would still be a chance that she could relapse if her emotional state were to deteriorate again...

In the morning, Harry would disappear to find her some breakfast. This left Hermione's mind to wander off once more. She found herself thinking of_ him _again... and so to stop from moping, she forced herself into the shower and got dressed properly. The sooner she was out of this fucking place - the better. Changes slowly happened, and the old Hermione was gradually creeping back, bit by bit. Not only was Harry glad to see her almost back to normal, but Hermione herself felt more relieved at the familiarity.

On the morning that she was due o leave, Harry brought Hermione some goodies; The Daily Prophet, admin papers from work, a steaming cup of cocoa and a bag of cheese and onion crisps... She couldn't help but give him a huge smile as he walked in and handed her the items. Her smile faltered as she noticed the unsettled look on his face...

"Harry? What's up? Oh come on... is it really that bad that I'm going home?" she teased. "Everything will be _fine_, honestly... I'm getting therapy, go-"

"Hermione, _stop_."

She looked at him, confusion plastered on her heart shaped face...

"Before you go home... we need to talk about what happened. Why the _hell _did you _do _this to yourself?" he pleaded, grabbing her hand and placing it against his cheek. He was so glad that she'd managed to pick herself back up so quickly and he also knew that if he hadn't have been there and stuck by her - things would be completely different right now...

Hermione's eyes glossed over as she fought back a sob. To be perfectly honest, at first she was upset that she even woke up... at the end of the day - _she didn't want to_.

_That was the fucking point wasn't it?_

But in a way, she was grateful. It made her realise that Harry was still there for her, she had a great job and a chance for a happy life. It was just..._ him._ Draco, that made her like this... and it would probably take a long time to fully get over him. She might not even get that far... but that wouldn't stop her from trying. _He'd begun trying_. So she would too.

Starting now.

There was no way in hell that Hermione would tell Harry about her relationship with Draco... he'd hit the roof. So she sat on the bed, desperately looking for something smart to say...

_'Come on... this shouldn't be hard for you! You were the smartest witch of your year at Hogwarts!'_

"I... Harry... It was a hard time for me. I didn't know what I was doing! Ron left... I was devastated and drank too much. I was being over dramatic Harry, honestly. It's nothing. I couldn't be more grateful that you saved me... I was just being stupid and acted on a whim." she babbled, trying to convince him as best as she could.

"You're sure? Positive that there's nothing else?"

"Of course! Why on earth would I lie to you Har-"

"You're_ pregnant_, Hermione. Explain_ that_."

"Oh, and by the way... it's twins. _Congratulations_."

_Just when you thought you could begin to get rid of the bloke huh?_

_Well let me tell you something darling..._

_I told you so..._

* * *

**_OOOOOSSSHHH! :D Hope you enjoyed it! It's all coming out isn't it! Well...until next time my darlings! :)_**

**_And I'm sorry about the Edit. It's shit I know but the thingy ma jig wouldn't let me make my editssss :(_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**They say Hello they say Ola and they say Bonjour! How are you all doing?**_  
_**God, It's been a stressful couple of days I tell ya! I knocked out this chapter yesterday and tried uploading it at like 2am but after making all of my edits (page breaks, the italics i love ;D and spellings/grammar) I saved it and once more the bastard didn't save! :( I was so bloody tired that I had to go to sleep but I was really bummed that I couldn't put it up for you guys so I'm sorry about that...**_  
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_**Thank you sooooo much for all of your reviews, It's quite overwhelming actually. This is my first proper fic and to know that it's having positive feedback and people are enjoying it is really moving! Makes me want to write more and more as well which is good. I've just been trying to process what's happening in each chapter and how I'm going to write it etc... I know what's going to happen in the story itself but it's the actual breaking down that's slowing me a bit. **_  
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_**A few of you have mentioned about how depressed Hermione is and that she's not like that. Well, I write all of my characters slightly OOC (some more than others) and this Hermione was intended for the fic. I just wanted to show her vulnerability when it came to Draco, that she was so in love with him that he was basically her addiction and she ended up using pills as a substitute from him not being there. That's why she ended up in the state she was... But NO FEAR. She gets better in this chapter and will be staying that way for a while. Anyway, I'm gonna shut-up now because this A/N itself is turning into a novel ;) This is just a little Harry/Hermione chapter a.k.a. THE AFTERMATH ;) no Draco (SORRY). Musical inspiration was 'She Will Be Loved' by Maroon 5. I just listened to it a lot whilst writing this one. Not sure about relevance to the chapter. Maybe? Heh...**_  
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_**GO ON! REEEADDD!**_

__  
_**Lizzie xoxo**_

* * *

"_What_!"

"Oh, didn't you hear me?" Harry crouched in front of a shaken Hermione, who had wobbled into the chair beside her hospital bed. He calmed his tone, but there was still concern. He couldn't _believe_it when they'd told him. The mediwitches had completed every test that they had to perform the moment Hermione arrived, returning the results only two days later. Only they forgot to return one set of results.

_The pregnancy test. _

Harry had been on his way to pick up Hermione and take her home, bringing her some little goodies to cheer her up when he was pulled to the side by a senior Mediwitch and informed of her pregnancy. To say that he was shocked was the understatement of the _year_ - His jaw literally hit the floor, the items tumbling from his fingers and onto the sickly geen, sterile floor. There were so many things running through his head that he didn't even notice that he'd dropped them.  
_'How the hell did she get pregnant!'_ Obviously he knew the 'mechanics' of how it happened, but Harry wasn't even _aware _that she'd been seeing anyone let alone _making babies_!

"You. Are. Pregnant."

Hermione was absolutely speechless. Those were the last words she expected to ever come out of Harry Potter's mouth...

"I didn't know..." she whispered. "Oh, Harry I _didn't fucking know_!" Her hands began to tremble. A love affair with the person that she thought she hated, an attempted suicide caused by the pain from their split and now_ this_. Just when Hermione was beginning to see a little bit of light, becoming the slightest bit positive about the future - about moving on. He came back to haunt her yet again, by bloody _impregnating_ her!

"_I didn't know._.."

"Who's the father?"

_'Oh gods... not that question. Any question but that one!'_

"I... I... Oh, Merlin."

"It's Ron isn't it? Is that why you've been so reserved and depressed? Because you slept together at the end of school, realised that you still had feelings for him and then he just suddenly upped and left?"

_'Ron. REALLY!'_

"That's why you took the overdose isn't it? Hermione you can tell me, I'm your best friend!"

"Harry no, just shut up! It's not Ronald, for merlin's sake. Don't be so stupid, he and I didn't work - you_ know _that..." she shrieked.  
He didn't understand? It was obvious that the babies were conceived at the end of their time at Hogwarts and the only person that Hermione had been in a relationship with was Ron. They may have only been together for a few months in 6th year but they were still close...

"But...but you've never been in a relationship with anyone else!"

"I know..."

"So...Were you in a relationship with someone else behind our backs? Or was it a spur of the moment one night thing? Take your pick, Hermione. It's got to be one of the two."  
Hermione now held her head in her knees that were drawn up onto the chair. Her head felt like it was about to explode...

"Did someone hurt you?" he continued, his eyes widening as he continued to try and suss out the situation. "Oh gods... you werent..._raped_...were you?"

"HARRY. _SHUT THE FUCK UP_!"

He stopped in his tracks, face paling as Hermione's got more purple by the second. She was swearing at him...that meant she was pissed.

_Very pissed._

"_Look_, I have just been told that I am _pregnant_ with not one but_ two _babies! I really, _really_don't need your questions and stupid little thoeries thrown at me from left, right and centre at this specific moment in time! So _please _Harry... give it a fucking rest for _one second_!"

_Okay..._

He stopped his rant immediately and glanced at Hermione who was looking a bit worse for wear again, shaking into the chair, her large butterscotch doe eyes wide and fearful, staring into space. Harry knew that it was important to give Hermione Granger space when she was pissed off/stressed out/on her period or all of the above. To be quite honest, he did feel like a bit of a tit. He'd pushed it too far, springing all of these questions at her when she'd only found out about her pregnancy five minutes ago! But he couldn't help but feel desperate to know the truth... to know who the father was, to know what she was going to do about it. She was still fragile and he needed to give her his support...whatever the circumstances were.  
Harry plonked himself on the newly made hospital bed and sighed. He stayed there for about twenty minutes, watching Hermione sob to herself in the chair. He couldn't help but pray that she would pull through... she had to. The last thing Harry wanted was for Hermione to deteriorate again...

_He might not be there to save her the next time._

_'Shut up, Harry. what the hell are you saying? There won't be a next time... you'll be sure of that'_

"I'm so sorry Harry..." Hermione approached him, placing her hand on his knee. She was full of so much confusion, it poured from every orifice.

Hermione and Draco were so in love, so passionate that they never even thought of casting contraception spells. It didn't cross their minds once. They often talked together after making love for hours on end, picturing their ideal future. A small cottage in the country... Kent maybe? Draco preferred Scotland. It would have a thatched roof and be crawling with ivy, the front garden a jungle of wild flowers and trees. They would marry and have children together. Four was her ideal number, his was two, so they compromised on three. They'd go for long walks in the country, picnics on the beach. Hermione would make their children study hard whilst Draco would spoil them rotten... It was such a cliched fantasy. One that every girl dreamed of. The pair of them longed for it so badly and it broke both of their heart's that they would never be able to realise the fantasy...  
Hermione had no hope of any of it happening whatsoever, yet here she was sitting in St Mungo's being told that one of her dreams had come true...

She was pregnant.  
With her first and only love's children.  
_Unbelievable... _  
but _oh, so wonderful. _

She may not have him in her life anymore, but at least she had a part of him with her now... enough of him to help her stay strong and move on. Hermione would do it for their children...  
A sudden rush of heat engulfed her heart, making it twinge with love... It all became so _real_.

She grabbed Harry, throwing her arms about him and held him close. She would need him... hell, she would need all the help she could get. But she had to do this, it would help her to be happy again, to _love_ again. And that's why she had to tell him...

"Draco Malfoy" she whispered. "It's him... he's the father."

Harry stiffened as soon as he heard the name. "What?" he pulled out of Hermione's embrace, holding her at arms length, eyes practically popping from their sockets!  
Hermione took his hands and pleaded, "Harry please listen to me! I know how it must look; it's confusing I know, but It wasn't spur of the moment or anything like that I _promise _you!" her voice broke and silent tears started to stream down her face.

"Malfoy?"

"Yes"

"How could you, Hermione? You _hate_ him!" he bellowed, snatching his hands away from her hold. Harry began to pace the room frantically, trying desperately to get his head around the revelation. Draco _flipping _Malfoy! What on _earth _was she thinking? Malfoy was the last person he'd ever expected to be the father.  
Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy had been at each others throats since first year and now, now they'd been hooking up for a bit of _'How's your father?'_

_Un-fucking-believable!_

"I did... I hated him like hell but he was so _different _when we were alone! Harry please, you've got to believe me..."

"So he was basically manipulating you into having sex with him then! Hermione, he's a _Slytherin_ and the worse of their kind. Not only that - he's an _ex-death eater _too... and_ my enemy_." he yelled, trying to get her to see _some_ sort of sense. "Do enlighten me... what on earth was going through your head? You know... for being the smartest witch I know; that move was pretty bloody stupid if you ask me!"

"We were _in love_, Harry!" she screamed.

"Love... with Draco Malfoy. What complete and utter bollocks!"

"_I still love him_..."

"Why isn't he bloody here then! Why has he gone off and _married_Astoria Greengrass, huh? If he loved you so much then he would be _here_ Hermione..."

"You don't understand..."

"He's used you for his own sick entertainment, making you believe that he loved you just to get you into bed and ended up getting you _pregnant _before leaving you to get on with the rest of his life! You've been played like a _fool_ Hermione don't you see!"

"Do you know what? Believe it or don't, Harry. I couldn't care less. I know what happened and I know that what we had was true and honest and _beautiful_." she sat back on the bed and rubbed her tear stricken face. "It_ was _beautiful, Harry... I've never had somebody love me and cherish me the way that Draco did. He was_ different_. It wasn't all just sex, in fact we didn't sleep with eachother for a good few months! We just _talked, _talked about _everything_. He was a completely different person I promise you... and I do, _I love him_. He loved me too but things got...complicated."

Harry sighed, a hand reaching up to rub his aching forehead. It was hard to process and he didn't want to believe any of it...  
"Harry I _never have _and _never will _lie to you" Hermione whispered, reaching up to run her fingers through his dark tresses, eyes meeting his with a pleading stare.  
The information was sinking in gradually and Harry was slowly but surely coming to terms with the fact that his best friend was in love with and expecting the children of his arch nemesis.

_'What a bloody mess...'_

"He was the reason you tried topping yourself...wasn't he?" he whispered, turning to face her.

Hermione nodded.

Harry flared up again, reaching for the door. He _hated_ him, absolutely loathed him and his feelings only grew stronger when it registered what the ferret bastard had caused Hermione do to herself.. "How _dare_ he do this to you! Like I said; if he loved you he would be here. _Why isn't he here Hermione_? He just _left _you, married someone else and started a new life... and you...you did _this _to yourself because of it. Because of that evil little ferret!" he roared. "I'm going to _kill _him..."

"No Harry!" she grabbed his arm, swinging him round to face her. "Don't, It's not his fault!"

"Do _not _try and take the blame from him!"

"I'm not! Just _listen to me_..."

Hermione pulled Harry down and told him everything as quickly as she possibly could. About the contract, about how she'd lead Draco on _knowing_ that they would have to part ways sooner or later. It was all down to _her_. The reason she was in this state was all down to nobody else but herself.

"Have you ever heard of the expression 'It takes two to tango' Hermione?"

"Ssshhh. I know. But we both wanted it and I was the one to let it happen... I was stupid and reckless I know that. I should have been prepared but I couldn't help it... I love him more than anything." she said, picking at the blanket that was draped over the bed. "_I really do..._"

"Look, I'm sorry... for what you've been through. But I'm your _friend_ Hermione, your _best_ friend. Why did you have to keep it behind my back?"  
"If you look at what happened about fifteen minutes ago when you were about to _explode_ then you will probably understand..." she said, giving a small smile. "I _need_ you Harry... I want to have these babies. I _know_ that they'll help me to move on. I've learnt that I can't live without him but being pregnant has given me hope... I can at least live with a part of him in my life. But of course I can't do it on my own...".

Harry grasped her hand tightly and smiled warmly, "Of course I'll be here for you 'mione... I love you. It will take a little while but I'm sure Ginny and the Weasley's will come round tool. Ron... is a different matter... but we can think of him on a different day. We just need to get you back home and comfortable again." his thumb lightly traced hers as they sat in silence, both deep in thought. Harry couldn't help but wonder...

"There's no way you can contact him? Let him know about the pregnancy? You could get financial support at least..."

"No Harry... I just... I _can't_. He's moved on and so must I. Not only that but it could jeopardize his marriage, the contract and both of our reputations... The last thing I want happening is him finding out." she pleaded, squeezing Harry's hand as tightly as she could. "_He cant know._.."

"Okay. Fair enough. I respect your decision..."

"Thank you"

"What are we going to do about the press? They're going to go pretty mad when they see Hermione Granger walking around with a huge baby bump..."

"Oh Merlin..."  
There was just no winning was there? If the Prophet found out then Draco would find out. End of.  
Hermione's head hung into her hands, fingers raking through her signature, untamed curls. "_I can't do this_..."

"Now that's not very _Hermione Granger _of you is it?" Harry murmured, bumping his shoulder to hers. "You _can_ do this and _will_ do it... We'll keep it as secret as possible. I'll inform your boss of the situation, get them to make a vow not to tell anyone and that's it, nobody else will know apart from close friends and family. You can buy a charmed maternity cloak that will hide your bump when you go to work or any other public places. Just have a bit of _faith _Hermione...We'll get through this."  
Hermione smiled and leaned her head so that it was now resting on his shoulder. "Okay. I'm just... I'm happy. Well,_ happier_. But _scared_..."

"I know, but _I'm _here. And I'm not letting you go... I'll stick by you through _everything_. I promise."

_'Not letting you go...'_

Wow, she was really going to do it. Hermione Granger was going to be a mother... who would've thought? She had no clue how she was going to do this or how any of it would pan out. She was confident and knowledgeable when it came to books, work, spells... but she was not fluent in how to go through pregnancy and bring up children. It would be tough and challenging but hell; contracts could stop her from being with the man she loved, but there was _no way_ that anything would stop Hermione from this. She would bring these children into the world and_ love_ them.

"I'm so lucky to have you, Harry Potter." 

* * *

**_I hope you liiiiiiiiiiiked :)_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hello! :) I'm loving all of your reviews, I really look forward to reading them and all of them have made me smile. Thank god there's been no flamers - that's what I'm worried about! A lot of you are trying to guess what happens. I'm not going to tell you if any of you are correct because that would just ruin the story wouldn't it! :P_**  
**_I'm really enjoying this fic, it's hard to write but when I get to the end of a chapter it's the best feeling EVER. Especially when people like it._**

**_My Hermione wasn't meant to be this OOC buuuuuuuuut as I was writing, it felt like the right way to go to be honest... She's still Hermione but like I said in my last A/N; she was so deeply in love with Draco that it affected her in a particular way that I saw fit (cuz it's my story ya know? :P). But I get it when you say 'Hermione wouldn't do that...' etc... That doesn't mean that it wasn't intended though, jus sayin' :D_**

**_Anyway I love y'all to bits! Shout out to Sin-and-Smokin, .95, helikesitheymikey and ArsenicQueen for sticking with me from the very beginning :) I hope you stayyyy!_**

**_Aaaaaaannnnnd it's on with the chapter... musical inspiration was 'Harder to Breathe' by Maroon 5. I know this is the 2nd chapter in a row with a Maroon 5 song buuut it fits so well! *shudders* Sorry it's so short!_**

**_READREADREAD!_**

**_xoxo_**

* * *

_How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable_  
_So condescending unnecessarily critical_  
_I have the tendency of getting very physical_  
_So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle_

_You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here_  
_This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear_  
_You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone_  
_Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I am walking on_

_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love_  
_You'll understand what I mean when I say_  
_There's no way we're gonna give up_  
_And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams_  
_Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_  
_Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

"M-Master Malfoy, Sir?"

Draco was reclined in his office chair when he heard a hesitantly high pitched voice coming from behind the large, cherry oak door...

_Lottie._

Lottie had been Draco's personal House Elf since he was born and he had recently found himself confiding in the little creature.  
He was brought up to treat the elves as slaves... "They are for fetching, cooking and cleaning" his father would say, "To be seen and not heard".  
As far as Draco was concerned, they deserved no more consideration than the dirt beneath his shoes.

That was until _Granger_, of course.

Hermione was so passionate about the safety and treatment of Elves and other magical creatures that she even started up that S.P.E.W. during school...  
It had a profound effect on him. The pair of them bickered about it at first; Draco had obviously been brought up to believe that they were no more than servants, whereas Hermione hadn't been amongst the wizarding community until starting at Hogwarts, so she had the opportunity to make an opinion by herself.  
As they continued their debate, Draco began to realise that Hermione was right. She said that 'Everyone should be treated as equals' and told him to 'treat people the way you want to be treated...' and slowly but surely, it all began to make sense.

Lottie noticed a distinct change in Draco's attitude towards her during the christmas holiday of his last year at Hogwarts. He wasn't rude towards her anymore and she had to slap herself at least _ten_times when she heard him say 'please' and 'thank you' for completing her given chores. Master Draco soon became her favourite. When Master Lucius was still alive; Lottie would recieve many beatings. Lady Narcissa still gave her a smack now and again if she didn't perform her chores to the correct standards, but Draco was actually beginning to turn into a slightly, _decent_ human being!

She would always remember their first proper conversation...

* * *

"Lottie has cleaned Master Draco's robes for his return back to Hogwarts..." she squeaked, placing the neatly ironed stack of clothing into Draco's trunk. Lottie was about to leave the room when she heard another soft 'Thank you' from the other side of the room. Draco was standing by his window, gazing out into the dark, sapphire sky... long, pale hands buried into his trouser pockets.

"Elf. Stay a moment..."

Lottie's wrinkled and fragile hand paused on the door handle and the whole of her little body stilled. Not only was he thanking her for doing her job but he was asking her a question!  
She turned her head to face him, eyes wide and ears twitching.

"I only want to..._talk_ to you about... something." he sighed, "There's no need to be frightened, you're not in trouble."

"M-Master Draco is...wanting to..._talk_ to _Lottie_?"

"Yes..."

_Yes._

He couldn't believe it. He was actually going to talk to someone that spent their time cleaning and cooking for him yet spent most of that time, shaking in anxiety and wondering whether they were going to get a _smack_ from him or not! And he was going to _confide_ in the Elf!

How crazier could it get?

However, Draco needed to talk to _someone_, and certainly couldn't talk to his mother or Blaise Zabini about this _particular_ matter...  
Before going any further, Draco thought it would help to... apologize of some sorts.

_Bury the hatchet..._

"Look, I know that my family and I haven't treated you kindly since you came to work for us but I want to... make it up to you. I've been truly awful to you..." he whispered, glancing at the little creature that stood quivering before him.

"Lottie deserves _every_ punishment, Master Draco."

"No... that's the thing! You _don't_. You're punished for such pathetic things... it's... _not right_."

Lottie could not believe what she was hearing! Master Draco was... _apologizing_! And to _her_... a mere house elf!  
She didn't know how to respond. Her little head bowed, a tear sliding down her worn cheeks... she was touched. Absolutely flabbergasted, but _touched._

"Please say that you'll accept my apology, _Lottie_?"

She spoke his name! Oh, merlin's beard... did he have a _fever_?

"O-of course! Lottie will accept with _great_happiness." she said, rushing over and curtsying in front of Draco. He gave a small smile before taking a seat by the magnificent fireplace that was roaring with slick, orange tongues.

He went on hesitantly, to tell Lottie everything about Hermione. How his heart sped up every time she entered the room, about their late night hot chocolate sessions, even the fact that she was a Gryffindor mudblood... everything. Lottie listened in great anticipation, listening carefully to each and every syllable.

"I think I'm in _love_, Lottie... but I don't know what to do." he'd whispered, his long, slender fingers rubbing at his furrowed brow.

"There are many strong spells in this world, Master Draco. But _love..._ is the most powerful spell of all."

Lottie was_ right_... and he would never forget that sentence. From that moment on, he would tell her every single piece of progress. From their first kiss, to the day that he found out about the contract. Lottie was always there to listen and offer advice. It was a strange relationship, but it _worked_.

* * *

"What is it Lottie?" he half shouted, taking a sip from his large glass of firewhiskey as his eyes glanced over the Daily Prophet.

"Lady Narcissa and Lady Astoria would like to know if Master Draco will be taking dinner in the dining hall this evening?" she asked, sliding into the dark office.  
Draco had been spending most of his time in the office of late, trying to avoid his wife's clutches for a few short minutes. He didn't dine with them often... regardless of the amount of scolding his mother gave him.

He put it down to work, mostly.

Draco kept Astoria sweet by giving her anything she wanted, anything to keep her away for a while. He worked from home; managing a company that sold potions equipment and ingredients. It didn't take too much work on his part, just phone calls and a bit of paperwork with a meeting at the headquarters in Diagon Alley now and again. However, he was constantly finding different things to do; anything that would keep his mind off' Hermione. Draco would work himself to the bone, staying up late and eating the meals that Lottie insisted on bringing him before crawling upstairs to the suite that he shared with his wife, hoping that she was asleep already.

She was always sat up, wide awake, _waiting to pounce._

He was left with no choice. No matter how he tried to avoid it, every single night he would have to fuck her into oblivion without fail.

_Astoria Greengrass wanted a baby, so Astoria Greengrass was going to get a baby..._ that's how it worked with her.

Sometimes it wasn't so hard... a man _does_ have needs. But each and every time he would imagine that it was Hermione in Astoria's place. That made it a little bit easier... as long as he kept his eyes closed.

Tonight was like any other and as he was about to once again decline his mother's offer for dinner, the shrill voice of his beloved came thundering down the winding hallway...

"I don't think you'll be needing to deliver my answer, Lottie." he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You'd better make youself sca-" but before he had the chance to finish his sentence, the door swung open - knocking little Lottie off' her feet and in stormed a less than happy Astoria Greengrass... er... Malfoy. Her nose immediately turned when she spied the flattened elf. "Ugh! Get out you little_ rat_..." she hissed, shoving a shaken Lottie to the side with her shoe. Lottie scrambled to her feet and disappeared with a crack.

"What the _hell_?" clipped Draco, "Have you been chewing on wasps again, _darling_?" he sneered.

"Cut the shit, Draco. Are you going to start being a bloody_husband _any time soon or not? I don't even _remember_the last time we ate a meal together, in fact I think it might've been the fucking _wedding_!" she shrieked.

"You _know_ how much work I ha-"

"Work, work, work. Blah, blah _fucking blah_! I _know_ you're avoiding me. You can't stand to be in the same room as me - even your_ mother _is noticing! You don't look at me when we shag..."

She rambled on and on and on. In through one ear and out the other... that's the way Draco processed it.  
She was pacing now, a huge vein sticking out of her forehead. "I'm not even _pregnant _and it's nearly christmas..."

"I can't help it if you're not getting pregnant... what do you want me to _do_, eh? Cut my fucking _bollocks_ off and just hand them to you? Imagine that... 'Here you are, darling!_ Happy Christmas_!'"

"_Don't. Fucking. Tempt. Me. _Draco Malfoy." she spat, approaching his desk and leaning over it so that her face was merely inches away from his. "I _want_ to see changes. And they had better happen _pronto_. You _know_ what happens when I'm not happy..."

"Oh, would I _dare_ to disappoint you? You get what you want twenty-four fucking seven."

"What I _want_, Draco, is a_ baby_. And I _will _get one. Even if I _do_ have to chop your balls off... because believe me I _will_."

Astoria straightened her clothes and gave Draco another piercing look as she turned to leave the office. "I want to see you at that dinner table in _five minutes _like a good little husband, smiley faces and all the 'lovey dovey' shit. _Got me_?"

"Whatever your heart desires, my sweet." he drawled, a vicious snarl planted on his face. He heard a faint "Oh, _fuck off_..." and then the clacking of her sodding stiletto's disappeared down the hallway.

He could not stand one more second! This wasn't a _life_? It was false, fake, all of it _pretence_. Just a huge fucking _joke_.

He felt like hitting something._ Hard_.

Draco drank the rest of his firewhiskey in one gulp before pouring another.

_and another._

_and another._

Three glasses in under two minutes... _a personal best._

He un-buttoned the top button on his shirt before loosening his tie and sighing heavily. Every day, it was getting harder and harder to breathe. It was like he was being kept in a box that was gradually getting smaller, the walls closing in on him.  
He gave a short sharp kick to the nearest object - his Hogwarts trunk. He hadn't been near the damned thing since having it hauled to the office a few months back.

Draco's fingers lightly traced the logo that was stamped on the lid of the trunk before lingering on the cool, silver lock that kept his memories at bay. Not thinking twice, he grabbed his wand and tapped the lock, opening the trunk with a short, sharp click. He reached inside, threading through his robes, scarves, ties and Quidditch gear before he found it.

Oh gods... there it was.

_There she was._

So_ beautiful._

He stared at the picture in a complete trance. Mesmerised by her beauty.

Draco had vowed to erase Hermione Granger from his life as soon as he left Hogwarts. But he just couldn't help himself... it was his favourite picture of her. It had been yet another evening of making love, reading and talking, when Draco discovered Hermione's muggle polaroid camera. She told him that it was like any other wizards camera but the only difference was that the pictures didn't move...  
He started pointing and clicking, taking snaps of anything. The lense was soon pointing at Hermione who turned out to be less than impressed. She was sat amongst the sheets of Draco's bed, completely naked with her nose buried in a book.

_She couldn't look anymore beautiful to be honest... _

As soon as she heard the first click, Hermione was screaming in protest and on her knees, hastily pulling the sheets around her frame. Draco was having none of it and he clambered upon the bed, poking at her ribs.

"Come on, _smile for the camera_!"

"Draco,_ stop_!" she giggled, swatting his prodding hands away. "_Please!_ You know I hate being tickled!" she gasped, "I'll jinx you, you oaf!"

"No you won't... come on. Just _one_!"

Hermione knelt up, her caramel tresses cascading down her naked back as she threw hear head back in a fit of laughter, the sheet still tightly clutched to her chest.

_Snap._

"_Draco_!"

"Gotcha..."

"You'd better not go show anyone! Oh, _please give it back_..." she pleaded, trying to snatch the photograph.

"Hey, this is for _my_ eyes only... _trust me_." he winked, kissing her full, plump lips once more.

The picture felt worn in his hands, like the memory was so old already.  
Another reminder of what he had lost.

Draco let out another sigh... he considered burning it for a moment, but there was no way that was going to happen, so he placed the picture back in the trunk along with the rest of his childhood memories, before trudging down the hallway and into the dining room where his Wife and Mother awaited him...

_Like a good little husband..._

* * *

**_Oh gosh! I'm sorry this one was so short! I found this quite difficult actually and I know it's not one of my best. Sorry about that. The next chapter will be better. Hermione's going to start up a new little relationship of her own... any idea's on who it could be? ;) I'll leave you guessing... I bet you can't get it :P_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: I can't even express how sorry I am! :( It's been months since I've updated and I feel awful. It was a mixture of Writer's Block, starting College again (which has been hectic as hell!) and other shit. You will be happy (I hope) to know that I will be updating weekly from now on until the finish. I predict another 10 chapters on this. I might upload more than once a week if you're lucky hahaa. Again, I am SO sorry for the HUGE delay. I hope you forgive me? **_

_**Ahh... a lot of you suspected another Slytherin as Hermione's new little 'relationship'. I guess I shouldn't have said relationship really cos they're not romantically involved hahaa... anyway. You will see. It's not really shown properly in this chapter but you will see who it is. :) **_

_**Everything belongs to JK!**_

_**CHAPTER SONG CHOICE: AVRIL LAVIGNE - KEEP HOLDING ON. **_

_**

* * *

**_Another month had gone by and Hermione was now 3 months into her pregnancy. She couldn't believe how quickly the time had flown by, but it still hadn't been easy...

Telling her parents wasn't so bad. They wished her well but were a little upset that she was no longer with the father (who's identity Hermione didn't reveal). Nevertheless they made it clear that they would fully support Hermione's decisions and made plans to fly over from Australia when the babies were due.

The Weasley's on the other hand, weren't so thrilled. Ginny went ballistic, wondering why her best friend hadn't confided in her about the situation... about_ Malfoy _and Arthur was astonished that Hermione could even have _engaged_ in such a 'relationship'.

There was shouting, a lot of it, and many tears shed. But with an encouraging speech from Harry, the family came to the conclusion that they couldn't possibly leave Hermione to deal with this by herself and after a long month of sulking, they were slowly beginning to come to terms with what was happening.

Hermione was relieved to say the least. If the Weasley's had turned their backs on her then she didn't know what she would've done...

There was only one person that hadn't taken the news so well.

Ron.

Hermione owled him the same day that she and Harry told the Weasley's but she still hadn't received a reply.

Ron always replied to her.

Always.

"Well you _have_ just told him that you're expecting twins, fathered by the man that he possibly despises the most..." said Harry. "It's going to take time 'mione. You're lucky that the Weasley's have been so hospitable so quickly."

"I know that Harry and It makes me feel so uneasy and... horrible." She whispered, cuddling up to his warm frame. "I just need him, his reassurance, just... It's hard without him here, you know? I've spent most of my life in the company of you two. The three of us have been through so much together and it hurts that he's moved away." She sighed.

"It's not the same..."

She tried not to care so much, but she did. He was a part of her, as was Harry... they were like brothers to her and it hurt that he was rejecting her.

Hermione kept herself busy by reading pregnancy books, visiting The Burrow, anything that she could do to get herself to move on. There was no doubt that she was still down... she was just getting over an attempted suicide! She wasn't just going to snap back into her old self was she? There were familiarity's returning to her for sure, but underneath there was still that aching in her heart. Her longing for him. Hermione willed herself not to think about Draco Malfoy anymore, but it seemed simply impossible. Even pining for Ron felt the slightest bit easier than pining for him.

Therapy helped. She had to attend one session every week for two months as ordered by St Mungo's. She saw a therapist called Timothy Trundle; a short, stout man with a rather interesting moustache who 'hmm'ed' and 'aaahed' through most of the sessions, encouraging Hermione to pour out everything that she had an ounce of worry about; most of which concerned a Mister Draco Malfoy. Hermione didn't reveal Draco's identity for obvious reasons... she just referred to him as 'the Father of my unborn children'. This man might be a professional and sworn to secrecy but still, there's no way that she would trust him and risk anything.

She was still attending work for now, wearing charmed robes to conceal her slowly swelling tummy. Much to her objection, Hermione was told that she would have to stop working just before Christmas as she was carrying twins.

"What on earth am I going to do!" she exclaimed one evening, sat on the couch alongside Harry. "Do they expect me to sit on my arse and knit or something? You know how much I enjoy my work..."

"I know..." soothed a rather amused Harry, "You've got to listen to the mediwitches though, and they know what they're talking about and anyway, we can find stuff for you to do!" he said, placing a protective arm around Hermione's troubled frame. "Ginny's got another few days before she goes back to Hogwarts, so you two can go shopping or something..."

"She hates me, Harry." Hermione interrupted, looking up to her bespectacled friend. Her eyes were slowly beginning to pool once more...

"She does not hate you... she's just a little bit upset and confused. She'll come round." He reassured.

Hermione loved this man so much. She had gone behind his back for nearly a year... and still, he was here supporting her. He was her rock.

"Why don't you take her along to St Mungo's with you? For your scan. I'm going to be working anyway and I don't want you going alone..."

Hermione was hesitant. She had fucked things up with Ginny _big_ time.. and she knew it. They'd grown apart over the past year... Hermione seemed to have neglected her other friends during her secret affair with Draco, causing a lot of damage to her friendship with Ginny than anyone else. Harry and Ron had been with her from the beginning whereas her bonding with Ginny had been a growing progress. A relationship which Hermione had literally thrown back in her face..

"and then when she goes back to school you can help Mrs Weasley look after Teddy." he said, squeezing her shoulder. "It'll give you some experience and you know that he adores you..."

Ahhh Teddy. Little Teddy Lupin.

Molly and Arthur decided to adopt the cherub faced little boy when his parents passed during the War. He was extremely clever for a three year old and Hermione was constantly being impressed by his intelligence. And as if on cue; the little pickle bounded into the room, flinging himself on to a very un-suspecting Harry who let out a huge 'Ooomph!' before scooping the little boy into his arms.

"Cheeky little monkey! How's my little heartbreaker eh! You're going to have all of the girls throwing themselves at you when you're older aren't you?"

Harry held Teddy above his head, his right hand tickling into his little tummy. Teddy was like a little piglet, squealing in complete and utter glee at Uncle Harry's game. Hermione looked on, giggling at Teddy's failed attempts to swat Harry's glasses off' his head. Her hand instinctively creeped to her stomach, stroking small circles over the ever slight swell before resting over her belly button. It was something that she did naturally... she never really noticed it.

She couldn't believe how well the Weasley's were doing at bringing the little Lupin up. After losing Fred in such a gruelling battle, it was such a painfully heartwarming thing for them to do. And Teddy himself... well he couldn't seem more settled in to be honest. This child that was barely three/four years old had lost both of his parents. He didn't have a fucking clue what was going on most of the time... yet he _still_ had a smile planted on his chubby little face twenty-four fucking seven.

The pressure on her tummy became ever so slightly harder as she thought. She felt even more spurred on by this little three year old that she barely knew... spurred on to do her best in bringing up her children. They may not have a Father... but at least they had_ her_.

Hermione snapped out of her reverie as Harry let out a little yelp, having been defeated by the blue haired pocket rocket who now seemed to be jumping up and down on the sofa, glasses in his hands - his trophy.

"Shut it four eyes! Girls are icky..."

"_Excuse_ me!" Hermione swiftly pinched the glasses out've Teddy's hands and into Harry's and before the infant could object, she engulfed the tot and sat him on her lap, trying to calm him down a little.. he'd _clearly_ had one too many chocolate frogs this afternoon.

"_I'm_ a girl... do you think I'm icky?" she said. He looked up at her, his bright blue eyes widening as he realised his little mistake. "No... you're not icky Aunty Memione. You're a _grown up_. Only _little girls _are icky."

_'Good save...'_ thought Harry, as he cleaned his glasses and propped them back on his head.

"Especially Victoire... she puts _jelly beans _down my _pants_!" he exclaimed, hands up in protest as if he where revealing the most scandalous thing ever. Hermione's heart ached at how cute he was. He really _was_ going to be a little heartbreaker, even if he _did_ think girls were 'icky' at the moment.

"Why is your tummy puffy Aunty Memione?" he suddenly asked, prodding at her abdomen. Hermione chuckled along with Harry before taking the little hand and giving it a light kiss. "It's because I'm going to be having a baby. _Two _little babies, in fact and possibly two little _girls._" she teased, earning a little wail of protest from Teddy.

Hermione hadn't really taken time to think about the gender's... She'd been too busy thinking about how she was going to get away with her pregnancy without anyone like Rita Skeeter finding out.

Two little girls...

or two boys?

One of each.

Yes.

That would be perfect.

God this was wierd.

But yes..._ perfect_.

"Noooooooo! I bet you'll have two boys! Can you ask the baby person if you can have boys please? Then they can play Super-Wizards with me! I promise I'll let them play with my pretend wand!" he pleaded, eyes wide and expectant.

"I can't make any promises, Teddy but I will ask." she replied, placing a sweet peck on his forehead.

* * *

The journey to St Mungo's was awkward to say the least. Ginny and Hermione floo'd to the ministry and walked from there as Hermione was restricted from apparating whilst pregnant. They sat in the waiting room in silence until Hermione was called in.

"If you would like to lie down on the bed for me Miss Granger? Miss Weasley you can take that seat just there..." the mediwitch pointedto the seat that was placed right next to the bed that Hermione was now propping herself onto. The mediwitch left the two women alone to retrieve Hermione's records, provoking another stony silence between the two.

_'What in merlin's name do I say? Oh Gods...' _thought Hermione. She was in such a state. Not only was this the first time she would be seeing the growing children that she and Draco had concieved but she was being accompanied by the person that possibly loathed her guts the most right now.

"Ginny, please..." she started but was immediately cut off..

"Don't Hermione. I'm only here because Harry told me to be." she clipped, studying the curtains a little too thoroughly.

"Just listen to me, please?"Hermione pleaded, tearing at the blue tissue that had been tucked into her jeans by the mediwitch. When there was no reply, she continued on anyway.

"I know that I've been the worst friend ever this past year, I _know_. But I was..." she was struggling to piece her sentences together. She knew what she wanted to say to her but it was all just coming out in a jumbled mess.

Hermione was scared. _Petrified_.

She paused for a moment.

She didn't want to lose her friendship with Ginny at all, she was the closest female friend that she had, the someone that she'd talk to about periods, fashion and men.

_Men._

Ginny had always confided in Hermione of her ever growing feelings for Harry and offered her own advice and support in return. It was Ginny who Hermione had run to in 6th year as her feelings for Ron reached their peak. They became so close that they regarded each other as sisters so it's needless to say that Ginny realised the distinct change in Hermione's behaviour in her final year. Yeah, she had been made Head Girl so she could understand a little extra bounce in her step. But by the New Year it wasn't just a little bounce, it was more like a skip... a gallop... there was definitely something different. A new air around her.

She_ glowed_.

To be quite honest she absolutely slapped herself silly that it didn't twig in the first place!  
Ginny pounced on her the moment she noticed the change...

"You're acting differently 'mione and something tells me that it hasn't got anything to do with that shiny badge on your jumper! You've not even _moaned_ about the ferret's living habits these past what... nearly two months! Are you ill?" she teased. "Go on... spill. Tell me everything. It's a guy isn't it? Is it McLaggen? Seamus? It's obvious that he likes you..."

It was basically a huge dose of projectile word vomit. Ginny had a tendency to talk too much when she was excited...

"Has Ron finally come round and proffessed his undying love for you?"

Hermione scoffed "Ginny, seriously? He's still very much in love with Lavender 'I-want-to-shove-our-relationship-in-Hermione's-face-as-much-as-possible' Brown! You know that... and anyway I couldn't care less. I'm over him - I've already told you for the umpteenth time."

Ginny threw her arms up in frustration before tugging at Hermione's scarf, giving her her best 'puppy-dog' pleading face. Hermione was having none of it though and simply gave the excuse that she wasn't letting anything put a dampner on her enjoying her last year at Hogwarts.

Well... it wasn't really a lie now was it?

But the changes didn't stop. And as the snow melted and flowers blossomed, Hermione stopped visiting the Gryffindor common room as much, she didn't stay for after dinner gossip and was apparently 'too busy studying' to go into Hogsmeade at the weekend or have girly pamper evenings.

It tore Ginny apart... and what hurt the most was the fact that Hermione didn't realise what she was doing to their ever fading friendship. She never mentioned it to Harry really, it's not like she had no other friends or nothing to do... it was just the fact that all of that time that they spent, their friendship blossoming. It felt like it had gone to waste.

It was sad, really.

Ginny was struggling to keep it together as she watched Hermione's lip tremble.

"I'm so scared." she whispered.

"I fell in love, Ginny and before you object - I know that it isn't any excuse to have neglected you like I did and I really regret it, I really do. But don't you understand why I couldn't tell you? It was _him_. _Draco sodding Malfoy _for crying out loud! I couldn't believe it myself! But it happened, it did. And it was... the best desicion of my life." she sobbed into her hands, the memories flooding her once more.

"I knew that he was betrothed to Greengrass... I knew. But I let it go on, Gin. I just couldn't let go... and then before I knew it... he was gone and I just felt... empty."

Just as Ginny was about to respond, the mediwitch came shuffling back into the room, a clipboard and a vial of blue potion in her hand.

"Right, let's put the gel on your tummy and take a look at the little gems..."

The woman spread the ice-cold gloopy substance over Hermione's abdomen earning a shiver from her as she wiped at her eyes. Ginny sighed and sat down in the chair next to her friend.

She was so fucking mad!

_Furious! _

But Hermione was still her friend... and she needed her.

_Just as Harry had told her._

And she could see that... Hermione looked terrified.

Ginny tentatively slipped her hand into Hermione's as the Mediwitch pressed her wand to her stomach. It was a small gesture. A truce, if you will. Hermione knew that she still had a lot of explaining to do but for now, they were friends again. Hermione gripped her hand in a vice like hold, giving Ginny the most thankful look she could muster, another tear - this time of relief - slipping down her cheek_. _

Hermione was left completely and utterly speechless as the ultrasound was then projected infront of the two witches. She could make out the two little shapes that were her children... They were so tiny. It was wierd to think that these two little blobs were going to grow to be fully grown babies within a matter of months. She would give birth to them and then raise them.

Teach them.

Guide them.

_Love them._

Her own flesh and blood.

Hers.

and... and hi-

_'I think I've cried a fucking ocean these past months..._' she thought, giving a small, sad smile_. _

_'Enough now, Hermione.'_

_Enough._

* * *

**_Please Review!_**

**_Sorry if it was too short. I am tapping away at the next chappy ASAP!_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hello you lot. So I really do apologise for my lack of replying but to be honest 'busy' is a bit of a bloody understatement. I'm studying hard for my A-levels at the moment and it's extremely time consuming. Also, my computer broke just over Christmas so I haven't had anything to write on – WAAAAAHHHH :( But anyways, I'm not going to give you any false hopes in this note... I will update when I can, whether it be in a week or a month. I will try and find the time for you, but it won't be easy!**_  
_**I really do want to get this fic finished though, I have it all planned out so it's just writing it. I want you to see the rest of iiiiitttt I also have lots of other little plot bunnies that I want to get started on!**_

_**So, less of the rambling!**_

_**It's Christmastime in the next few chapters! The first half of this chapter focuses more on the Malfoy's, their history and what happened to Lucius. It was another little plot bunny in my head that I was going to do for a Christmas fic last year but obviously I didn't have time, so I decided to incorporate it into this one! It also tells you why Lucius agreed to the marriage contract and how he changed during Voldemort's uprising, leading to his eventual death during the war. I hope you like it.**_  
_**And as you may have noticed – this fic isn't entirely novel compliant. But that's intended of course :)**_

_**Music inspiration for this chapter: The Script – Rusty Halo and The Pogues – Fairytale of New York :)**_

_**Everything belongs to JK! I just play with the characters :)**_

_**p.s. excuse any typo's! this isn't beta'd 3**_

_**Lizzie  
xxxxx**_

_**

* * *

**_

Draco Malfoy _hated _Christmas.

The decorations, lavish feasting, mistletoe, mince pies, Yule trees, carollers, wreaths, those stupid fucking hats.

_All of it._

Fuck all of it.

_Why?_

It was a holiday rarely celebrated in Malfoy manor. Lucius had loathed the Yule season, thinking it to be a pointless celebration only created to spend preposterous amounts of money on presents and food for his family and for them all to be merry.  
Firstly, he spent preposterous amounts of money on lavish food and gifts for his wife and son anyway, so why put up a stupid tree and decorations to go with it?  
Secondly, Malfoy's weren't merry. Malfoy's were disciplined and well behaved.

Narcissa on the other hand adored Christmas and when she learnt that her husband despised her favoured season; she was absolutely flabbergasted.

To say that Narcissa Malfoy loved her husband was an understatement...but she didn't _like_ the man. When he died she couldn't have been more relieved but also shattered at the same time.  
Lucius Malfoy died a broken man... brainwashed, emotionally and mentally fucked up by the Dark Lord's sick and twisted uprising. He wasn't the same man that she'd fallen for all of those years ago... her 'Luca'.  
He was such an affectionate and loving father to Draco when he was born and although purebloods where seen to be conceited, cold and distant families; the Malfoy's were a proper family. They went on outings together, Lucius taught Draco how to fly a broom and every single year they decorated the Christmas tree and plastered the manor with decorations – much to his objection of Christmas. And although he sat with a grimace on his face for most of the day; it made Lucius content to see Draco happy. When Lucius signed the contract of Draco's betrothal, it had not only been to keep his family's bloodline pure (although he had been a family man, he was still was a pompous git when it came to bloodlines and status), but it was also out of hope and ambition for Draco; he would be filthy rich and married into a reputable family. It was everything that any respectable pure-blooded wizard wanted for his child. Little did he know how much his plan would be such a burden on his son's life?

It wasn't until Draco was nine years old that Lucius heard that the fallen Dark Lord had been sighted by a fellow Death Eater. Narcissa did all she could to try and dissuade Luca from trying to help He-who-must-not-be-named, begging him not to return to his old ways but he managed to reassure his wife that it was for his family and important for Draco's future.  
A few months later when 'Cissa pressed him further on the matter (annoyed by her husband's constant absence), she was greeted with a short, sharp smack on her left cheek.  
She didn't dare say another word after that. It was the first time that he'd ever slapped her... and it wasn't going to be the last either.

Gone was Luca; the warm and loving husband that cherished his family. Replacing him was the cold hearted, cruel and chauvinistic Lucius; so obsessed in helping his Dark Lord return to power that it was almost as if he'd gone insane from his sick little ambition to become the Lord's second in command.

No more family dinner or flying lessons.  
Lucius' relationship with Draco drastically deteriorated and he would only interact with the boy when he was acting inappropriately or his grades weren't impeccable and he needed a slap. Draco slowly grew to despise his Father, completely perplexed as to how he had entirely changed into such a fucking bell-end.

No more Christmas.  
Lucius banished its existence from his household, punishing Draco if he dared to even mention the damn thing. Narcissa still tried to make it special for her son, sneaking him mince pies and a couple of presents throughout the day, but it most certainly wasn't the same.  
When Draco was in his fourth year at Hogwarts, he'd returned home for the Christmas holidays, fully preparing himself for the inevitable. It had been so disheartening to have to leave the generously festive packed castle, full of Christmas cheer (as cheesy as it sounds), to have to return home to the anti-fucking-Christmas brigade. It had gone exactly the same as before; Lucius away, plotting the forthcoming rise of his precious Dark Lord whilst he and his mother sat in complete silence in the drawing room by the roaring fire, awaiting his lordship's arrival. This time, however... instead of getting Lottie to deliver her son a mince pie and a present before bed, Narcissa had decided to present her son with his gift and secret Christmas snack herself. Though this decision proved to be a huge mistake as Lucius decided to apparate home the moment that Draco decided to take a bite into his mince pie, holding his new Quidditch book between his knees.  
In a livid rage, Lucius proceeded to destroy the book and whack the pie out of Draco's hand and into the fire before grabbing Narcissa by her neck and repeatedly hitting her in the stomach.  
Draco had to beg his father not to use the cruciatus curse on his mother.

She had been pregnant, the blows to her stomach resulted in a predictable miscarriage.

He never forgave his Father and refused to talk to him unless it was an order. He let him manipulate him into a little Death Eater so that he wasn't killed by Voldemort, but little did they know that young Draco had been doing plotting of his own with Snape. Draco relished the look on his father's face when he found out... witnessing his son slaying Death Eater's left, right and centre.  
He didn't shed a single tear when he found out that Lucius had been murdered by Longbottom, for his father had been dead to him for a long time.

Yes.  
It was definite.

Draco Malfoy _hated_ Christmas... and the pathetic piece of scum that was supposed to be his father.

"Someone's not been getting any... looks like the wife's cracking the whip _very_ hard" came a drawling voice. Draco instantly knew who it was.

"Fuck off Zabini" he clipped almost half-hearted, relieved that his best friend had finally turned up.  
Since Lucius' death, Narcissa had gotten back in touch with her 'Christmassy side', bringing back the roast turkey dinner and ridiculous amounts of decorations. She would invite the Zabini's over as Blaise had been Draco's best friend since childhood and also the Nott's and Parkinson's. Theo's parents had been friends with Narcissa since their time at Hogwarts and then Pansy's father had recently lost his wife, so Narcissa began spending time with him and found herself developing a bond with the man, much to Draco's dislike of Pansy. He was a respectable fellow and one of the rare pure-blooded men that hadn't joined the Dark Lord's ranks. It was good to see her happy again, though Draco didn't have any interest in the occasion that was called Christmas anymore. It was almost as if he'd transformed into a miniature version of his father with the whole 'hating on Santa' shit. So, had dear old father witnessed Grandpa Malfoy abusing his own mother one Christmas evening, resulting in miscarriage?

The thought made his stomach turn.

"Merry Christmas to you too, sugar" Blaise replied casually, pouring a couple of glasses of Odgen's finest for himself and his troubled friend. He thrust his glass into Draco's hand, ruffling his milky white hair as he strode over to an armchair and plonked himself down.

"Why are you separated from the rest of the lovely family then? Scared of Daddy Greengrass?" he teased, "Well, he is like a fucking troll!" he guffawed, noticing his friend's solemn face. "What's got your panties in a bunch this time?"

Draco took a deep swig from the glass and looked intensely over at Blaise, leaning against the large, marble fireplace, heat surging onto his back.

"That bad huh?"

Draco only nodded.

"To be honest mate, I'm not surprised you're so depressed. She's a fucking battleaxe and everyone knows that she was a complete slut back in school... I do feel for you, Draco."

"Oh, let me just get my hanky out so I can have a fucking weep" he retorted rolling his eyes, voice gravelly. "I'm dealing with it."  
Blaise rolled his eyes, letting out an unattractive snort. "Like fuck... Your Mother's told me that you lock yourself away in your office everyday and only show up at dinner... completely pissed. That's not "dealing with it" Drake..." he said, air-quoting. "It's obvious that you're still not over Gran-"

"Don't you fucking dare"  
Draco chest began tightening at the mere mention of her. Blaise was the only person that he'd told about Granger other than Lottie. At first, they'd both sworn that they wouldn't tell anyone at all, but then when Blaise decided to replace a bottle of Draco's firewhiskey that he'd stolen (knowing the password to their dorm), he'd walked in on the pair romping against one of the study tables.

Blaise being Blaise wasn't too bothered; he was too laid back for all this status crap and prejudice. At the end of the day, his best mate could shag who he wanted, as long as he was happy. So he kept their secret and supported Draco throughout their separation and his marriage to the Greengrass bitch.

"Fine. Be a pussy. Don't admit that you still think about her every minute of every day, no matter how hard you try and forget that she even exists."

"I'm warning you, Blaise..."

"Whatever dickhead..."

The room filled with silence, both men sipping at their drinks and listening to the background noise of Astoria's screechy voice as she greeted the Nott's and Parkinson's... Blaise thinking about how he could make the prat see sense, Draco trying to divert his attention to anything but her...

"Twat"

"Cock"

"Prick"

"Alright, you win Malfoy. This time." He noted, hinting that this wouldn't be the last time he'd try to reason with his fellow Slytherin.

"I always win, Zabini"

Blaise had to bite his tongue from wanting to point out how he actually hadn't won everything but was abruptly pulled from his train of thought as the door swung open and Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy, the bane of Draco Malfoy's life sauntered into the billiards room, complete with disgustingly low-cut dress and a face like thunder.

"You two need to get your arses into the sitting room_ now_ instead of bumming each other in here... the rest of our guests have arrived and dinner is in ten minutes"

"Well well well... Hello Astoria. Don't you look... _fetching_?"

"Well well well... Hello Blaise, why don't you... _go fuck yourself_?" the blonde shot back, studying her nails and rolling her eyes, tapping the heel of her stiletto on the wooden floor impatiently.

"Oooh... still as _feisty _as ever I see, Tori!" he chirped, downing his drink he got up and practically skipping towards the door, stopping by Astoria and pinching her cheeks. "Merry Christmas, sugar. I do love your outfit. It's from Sluts R Us again, I presume?"  
He managed a swift exit before Astoria had the chance to attack, chuckling down the hallway and into the room of pure-bloods. Astoria couldn't have been more irate, face red and practically steaming.

And for the first time in a long while; Draco smirked.

Dinner was a fairly quiet affair, Draco decided to refrain from talking much apart from the odd chatter with Blaise, and he sat toying his fork through his peas as conversation flowed back and forth about work, social gatherings and then a rather painful ten minutes as Ophelia decided to dredge up the topic of children.

"Yes, well we're working _very_ hard on that aren't we darling?" said Astoria in a sickly, fabricated voice as if butter wouldn't melt, emphasising the obvious innuendo.  
Draco merely nodded and took a big bite of turkey to desist himself from having to say anything. He heard Blaise's light chuckle to his left and made sure to slyly kick his friend in the shins as a penance.  
Talk then turned to the latest headlines, one of them being that Harry Potter was the youngest wizard to be made head Auror at the Ministry of Magic.

"It was going to happen" said Ivan, Pansy's father. "Honestly I think the boy deserves the post, though. He saved our community from the Dark Lord's peril and I think that we should all be grateful for such a thing". Many at the table agreed. Since Voldemort's death, a lot of his supporters came forward and admitted that they were only supporting him so that they weren't disposed of, including the Nott and Zabini family.

"What about those other two? The Weasley boy and the mudblood? What happened to them?" Draco flinched as he heard the word come out of Nathaniel Greengrass' mouth. "Weren't they his accomplice's?"

"Yes Daddy, they were called the Golden Trio" Astoria said, snorting unattractively into her glass of wine.

"Weasley went to work with his brother in Romania with the dragons, I think" droned Theo "I heard he wanted to be an Auror. He's a dumb sod though, they probably turned him down."

There was a hum of laughter across the table, Draco's grip on his glass tightened... if they mention-

"What about the granger girl then?"

"Oh don't get me started on that little skank..." snapped Pansy, Astoria nodded in agreement and interjected, "Oh yeah, she was the most irritating and hideous little swot I've ever had the misfortune to meet..."

Draco cringed as more laughter ensued. He felt Blaise's meaningful stare and glanced at him, pain crossing his eyes.

"...would follow the boys around like a lost puppy practically begging for attention. And that hair! Bloody hell it was _awful_, I mean surely she would've heard of a bloody frizz taming potion?" she turned to face Draco "you used to call her a bushy haired bint, didn't you darling?" she chuckled along with the rest of the table.

"Enough, Astoria"

"Excuse me?"

"I said enough... there is no right for you to be sitting here shooting your mouth off about a person that you barely know, a person that helped save us from the Dark Lord. You have no right!"

"Wh-"

"Astoria..." said the cool voice of Ophelia. "Do as your husband says. There's a good girl. Now, I think it's time for dessert, don't you Narcissa?"

The men and women both separated after the luncheon, the women retreated to the drawing room and the men to the billiard room as tradition always went. Draco went back to his office for a moment to clear his thoughts, looking out onto the frosty grounds of the manor, swirling his glass of red wine.

"Merry Christmas, Granger..." he muttered under his breath leaning his head against the cool glass.  
Blaise was right. No matter how much he tried to avoid it, the thoughts and reminiscing of their past would always creep back into his mind. Would it always be like this? Would he really have to live all of his life, his heart aching so badly for a woman that he could never be with? Having children and bringing them up, knowing that they're not _hers_.

"How fucking dare you Draco Malfoy!"

He hadn't heard his wife enter and jumped, sloshing some of the wine down his crisp, white shirt.

"What the fuck was that? Showing me up in front of my friends and family! My own parents, Draco! And over something so fucking pathetic!"

"It wasn't pathetic though, was it? You were sitting there, happily slagging off the people who are probably the main reason you're standing here today!"

She rolled her cat-like eyes again, scoffing at him "Ugh, blah blah blah, Draco. I do not give a flying fuck. So do me a favour and get over it. She's a mudblood. Even if she did help the boy wonder child, she's still. a fucking. Mudblood. Worthless..."

"And you, are an evil, psychotic little tart who needs to get the hell out of my office!" roared Draco, eyes menacing.

Nobody spoke about Hermione like that... nobody. He was shaking uncontrollably, the anger bubbling away as Blaise silently entered the room and cleared his throat.

"I think it's time for you to leave now, princess" he said, tone even.

Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy didn't even flinch, arms crossed over her chest, giving her husband the nastiest glare that she could muster as she nonchalantly strode up to him.

"Your apology had better be _great_ tomorrow, Draco" she whispered, a wicked glint in her eyes. She turned and left the room, not without glowering at Blaise first as he gave her a mocking air kiss for the road.

Blaise was silent as he approached Draco and wrapped his arms about him. It wasn't unusual for the two to hug, they had done it since they were little and were completely comfortable with it.

"What a fucking mess, Drake" muttered the ebony skinned Slytherin, tucking his friends head under his chin. Draco rested his forehead on Blaise's shoulder and sighed before doing something that he hadn't done for years, since he was a boy.

He _cried._

Yes, it was absolutely positive. Draco Malfoy _hated_ Christmas...

* * *

I_** hoped you enjoyed that chapter, will update ASAP. Please review!**_


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